Once upon a time I briefly dated a guy who came highly recommended by my sister's mentor. She sung his heavenly praises because years prior, he'd mentored her son. She regarded him as a "stand-up guy."
Little did she know.
He was an asshole.
And a big one.
Assholes are deftly self-centered. Because of this, Mr. Pillar-of-the-Community consistently sent me unsolicited photos of himself (which I personally thought was weird).
*SideNote* Unless you're asking for an opinion i.e., what do you think of this dress? or you're in a vicarious predicament, don't text anyone photos of yourself. If you want the world to see how beautiful you are, hit the 'Gram. Sending a pic of your lovely smile for no reason comes off as desperate and odd. Now back to the asshole*
After our last exchange in which he took assholing to the limit, I had a light bulb moment. Like a thunderbolt, images of the haircut from all his pics burned into my mind. It was a haircut he did himself. A haircut I didn't like. A haircut I told him I didn't like. A haircut whose likability I couldn't understand.
Why had it taken me so long to see it?
Of COURSE HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.
He had the Asshole Haircut!
The Asshole Haircut is characterized by:
Cut very low on the sides
Usually buzzy or "spiky" on the sides and/or top
Square on the top
Crew Cuts
Men who typically wear this telling coiffure are:
Gun lovers
Homophobic
Misogynistic
Arrogant
Insecure
Argumentative
Aggressive
Needy
Anxious about money
Cocky
Know-it-Alls
Alcohol consumers
Lovers of violent sports
And most prominently,
BULLYS.
Asshole Haircut Professions:
Law-enforcement
Fire Department
Military
Professions of authority (Coaches, Teachers, etc)
Athletes
Ladies, if you see a man with this haircut, run and run fast. His selfishness is not only debilitating, but can be dangerous. His traits do not make for a good boyfriend or husband. Aside from intimacy, the Assholism can spill into other relationships. Who wants to do business with an asshole? Or wants one teaching their children? Who wants an asshole as a person to answer to at work? Who wants an asshole waiter or salesperson assigned to help or serve you?
If at all possible, stay the fuck away from this guy.
No man is going to tell you he's an asshole.
Fortunately, you are now equipped to speak Hairstyle.
Let's look at some examples:
CHET:
Chet from the movie Weird Science, was a major asshole. He was in military school (clue), loved guns (clue), was homophobic (clue), misogynistic (clue) and was just a general bully (clue).
ICEMAN:
Val Kilmer's character "Iceman" from the movie Top Gun, was an asshole. He was antagonistic, arrogant, aggressive and argumentative. He was a MILITARY pilot, and a fighter pilot no less. This can be a very arrogant career for a man considering the salary and prestige that comes with the job. #coldasice
Hank Baileygates
From the 90s movie Me, Myself and Irene, Hank Baileygates was a serious asshole. He was disturbed actually. He had a filthy mouth, drank like a fish, loved to break skulls and loved dirty, dirty sex. He too was a bully. Below he's antagonizing a little boy in a restaurant.
Warden Norton
Warden Norton from the extraordinary movie The Shawshank Redemption, was King Asshole. He was corrupt, hypocritical, a murderer, an extortionist, a liar, a bribe taker and above all, heartless. It doesn't get anymore "asshole" than heartless. He ended up committing suicide in the film rather than face the consequences of his actions. Cowardice can be another asshole trait.
Biff
Biff from the wildly successful movie Back to the Future, was a violent and selfish bully who got what he wanted by intimidating others. He even attempted to rape one of the lead characters (Marty McFly's mother). He was an Ass to the Hole who used his fists to do the talking.
Colonel Jessup
Colonel Jessup from A Few Good Men, was admirably devoted to the Marines way of life. He took offense to being questioned about the manner in which he protected his country. He was an arrogant alpha-male with a huge sense of entitlement. In the end, he admitted to giving the "Code Red" order that cost two Marines their lives and two innocent Marines their careers. He felt the ruining of four lives was simply par for the course.
Frank Fitts
Retired Colonel Frank Fitts was a strict disciplinarian. He'd previously sent his son to military school and briefly committed him to a psychiatric hospital for fear that he might be gay. Frank himself was a closeted gay man who -because of his denial - was morbidly homophobic and routinely punished his son physically. In the end, Frank murdered the male neighbor who rebuffed his kiss.
Guy I briefly dated:
One might argue that the men referenced above are fictitious, but I believe the films' costume designers were aware of the Asshole Haircut. They gave the look to these characters because it was befitting.
To all you lovelies out there, be leery of the Asshole Haircut.
The name is well deserved.
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For all the ladies who are Star Wars buffs, Covergirl is launching something just for you. Hitting stores this fall will be a line of make-up influenced by the epic franchise. The packaging uses images form the upcoming Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, and each package has a coupon for a discounted movie ticket. This is a fresh idea indeed. Easy breezy beautiful, Covergirl.
Oh Bill Cosby. Bill Bill Bill. What were you thinking? Your challenge for Twitter followers to meme you is a prime example of the aloofness of Hollywood icons. You believe the hype. The constant adoration. The bright-eyed fans, beaming upon finally meeting their idol. The starstruck celebrity, greeting one of their greatest career influences in person. All of the praise, worship and fanfare can make a person truly believe they're the Hollywood god people make them out to be. With all of the special treatment and obese bank accounts, self-absorbed celebs forget about (and can't escape) one teensy-weensy aspect of celebrity life:
TWITTER.
The honest, unrelenting and un-paid off folks of Twitter can pop any ego. They can bring any head in the clouds down to earth rather quickly, and most important, without the need of any PR translator, Twitter can let the world know where any celebrity stands in 140 characters or less.
Yes folks.
Twitter can definitely be a feeling-hurter.
No directors. No special effects. No scripts. Simply pure, unadulterated opinions of what the 'little guy' feels about you. Bill should've known better. One could suppose that because Hollywood has basically remained mum on the rape topic, he wasn't aware of true public opinion. He was under the assumption that everyone had swept his rape allegations under the rug. Nope! Hollywood, a town in which he's a legend in the "untouchable" category, under unspoken instruction has said nothing about his 14+ rape allegations. If he didn't know before, Mr. Cosby should be well aware that Twitter ain't Hollywood. The allegiance paid to pudding pop titans is not guaranteed in Twitville. He thought he was going to get memes of good ole' fashioned family fun.
He couldn't have been more wrong. The meme generator was a terrible move.
Dems' the breaks Bill. That's what you get for being a rapist.
Here are some of the funniest memes from Twitter (that weren't immediately pulled and deleted).:
It's amazing how a man who created and produced a television show that had so much integrity, could secretly be such a disgusting, victimizing creep.
Barbara Bowman was one of his alleged victims, claiming Cosby raped her when she was a 17 year old starving artist. Her story is here: Barbara's Story
14 allegations over 20 years. Women who've never met, living in different states. Some paid off, some not. The one thing they have in common are their stories. All accounts of rape were almost identical. Are you proud of yourself "Dr." Cosby?
"This isn't my first time at the rodeo with her, she tried to pull that with me too.."
Lol.
I don't know who "she" is or even what she did, but I haven't heard the "rodeo" expression in a long while. It immediately reminded me of the movie "Mommy Dearest." One of the best scenes of the movie is when during a board meeting, Pepsi tries to oust Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) from the Board of Directors. Her husband was recently deceased, and they were attempting to retire her.
She was not going to take it lying down. VERY not lying down.
Her facial expressions. The way her mouth twists. Her tone of voice.
Priceless.
#dontfuckwithmefellas
And check out those eyebrows. Woah.
Faye Dunaway, Bravo. This scene is genius. You completely owned it, hands down. Don't think so?
Watch..
Women belong in the bedroom and where?
Yessir.
The Boardroom!
Go Joan.
Go Faye.
Women take shits, but in some cases, women take NO shit.
I would not fuck with that woman ^^^ there. Not even a little.
HBO is teaming with Diablo Cody and Oprah Winfrey to explore "moody bitches."
The premium cable network is developing an untitled comedy based on Dr. Julie Holland's upcoming book, Moody Bitches.
Holland's book -- Moody Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You're Taking, the Sex You're Not Having, The Sleep You're Missing and What's Really Making You Crazy -- explores the pros and cons of the drugs people are being offered as well as some surprising and highly effective natural therapies. HBO's take, which is inspired by Holland's source material, will "expose the truth about the drugs you're taking, the sex you're not having, the sleep you're missing and what's really making you crazy."
Cody -- who will be credited as a creator on the potential series -- will pen the script and executive produce alongside Winfrey and her Harpo Films banner. Harpo first inked a long-term pact with HBO in late 2008 to develop movies, miniseries, documentaries and scripted series for the premium cabler. Holland will be credited as a co-exec producer.
The untitled Cody comedy marks Harpo's latest scripted project at HBO. It joins These Things Happen, a modern family comedy based on Richard Kramer's (My So-Called Life) novel of the same name, and last year's untitled drama about the first black president at a prestigious liberal arts college.
For Cody, the project becomes the Juno Oscar-winning screenwriter's latest small-screen sale. Cody also has Prodigy, a teen drama set up at Fox with Fake Empire's Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage. In addition, the United States of Tara alum also has her TBS talk show pilot, Me Time With Diablo Cody, in the works and last year developed comedy Alex + Amy for ABC.
Moody Bitches becomes the latest work from psychiatrist/author Holland to get the small-screen treatment. Her 2010 book Weekends at Bellevue: Nine Years on the Night Shift at the Psych ER was adapted at Fox and went to pilot in 2011. The Janet McTeer and Lauren Ambrose drama did not move forward. A publication date for Moody Bitches has not yet been announced.
With superheroes dominating the box office and pop culture landscape, it's simply astonishing that there hasn't been a female-lead film added the mix yet. While Marvel has a dearth of male superheroes at their fingertips, DC's most famous heroes are arguably Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. Yet, only Wonder Woman doesn't have her own series or film franchise to call home.
The latest rumors hint at Wonder Woman being a part of the Man of Steel sequel, Batman vs. Superman, and this is the closest she's been the silver screen in years. It's truly sad that she'd be playing third string to the big boys, and possibly only functioning as a love interest at that.
For some reason, Hollywood just can't get the Amazonian princess to the screen because she's "tricky." They can get countless super-men to work, including a gun-toting, talking Raccoon, but for some reason she is the "trickiest" one of them all.
We're at the point where fans are so demanding for a Wonder Woman feature, that Rainfall Productions has created a short film of their own highlighting her strength, beauty, and more. Without words, this short film has done more for Wonder Woman on screen than Big Hollywood has in the last thirty years.
Watch the fan made Wonder Woman short below:
While it's just a short, it does at least one major thing that Hollywood hasn't been able to properly handle - her costume. Her updated superhero costume is both sexy and strong and fitting with the modern era. Gone is the swimsuit style one-piece of Lynda Carter's TV show and instead of going with the modern and modest leggings/pantsuit it has a very Xena: Warrior Princess look.
With Natalie Portman clamoring for a female super-hero film, Stan Lee's acceptance of its inevitability and a potential Agent Carter TV show in the works -- the superhero cinematic landscape is just aching for a female superhero movie, regardless if it's DC or Marvel.
Hopefully we won't have to wait another thirty years.
Artist Shows What Disney Princesses’ Happily-Ever-Afters Really Look Like
The one thing you could be sure about in childhood was that every fairy tale would end with a “happily ever after”. But what if we were to continue on with what happened to the beautiful princesses after we closed the last book page? Photographer Dina Goldstein imagines what lives of the Disney princesses turned out to be if we left all the fairy tale luck and charm aside. “I began to imagine Disney’s perfect Princesses juxtaposed with real issues that were affecting women around me, such as illness, addiction and self-image issues,” says Dina. “With limited funds, I began to assemble my series.” The Fallen Princesses series also comes in a book!
The Moral of the story?
The expectations Disney sets for a young girl's life are misleading and horribly unrealistic.
Stop that shit already Disney!
PS.. the Princess Jasmine pic is racist!! Everyone in the Middle East isn't some gun toting Jihadist. I digress though..
True, this video has been circulating social media and we try to stay away from saturated posts, but THIS deserves to be seen by as many people in as many places possible.
For any men (or women) who only want to date "dimes" or "trophy" type women, you must absolutely watch this. Don't judge a book by it's cover, because you might miss out on some extraordinary reads.
