How Male Sexual Entitlement Hurts Everyone
Male Sexual Entitlement (MSE): The belief that men are owed sex on account of their maleness.
Rape Culture: The belief that sex without consent is OK (within certain circumstances).
Slut Shaming: To degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity.
Overvaluing of Male Sexuality: The belief that female sexuality exists specifically for male pleasure; the feeling of entitlement to women’s bodies.
No male sexual entitlement = No rape culture.
Bring back our girls? If men were properly sexually educated, (on subconscious levels especially), there would be no need to bring back our girls because no one would think it acceptable for a woman to be a sex slave. Nor would anyone think it natural to force a woman into marriage.
Why Does Sexual Entitlement Happen?
We've all been conditioned to think female objectification is normal. It’s embedded in the way promiscuous men are idolized while promiscuous women get called sluts.
“Conscious” men may think that playing to women’s emotional needs exempts them from acting in a sexually entitled way, but this isn't true.
Even the most sensitive of men may not see how they participate in MSE. Some men think being sensitive to women’s issues gives them a dating edge.
Where Does Sexual Entitlement Show Up?
In intimate relationships when one partner tries to coerce the other into sex. Some believe that it's a girlfriend or wife’s duty to sleep with her with her partner, even if she doesn't want to. Marital rape only became criminal in all 50 states as recently as 1993.
At work in the form of sexual harassment. Often times, when a sexual harassment law suit is covered in the media, people slut-shame the victim:
"She was asking for it with the way she dressed.."
Rarely are there comments about her being made to feel unsafe in (what's supposed to be) a professional setting.
Toward complete strangers. Guys who touch random women in clubs, men who catcall women as they walk by and men who feel women should be instantly flattered by a compliment.
Such people act like it's their right to look at, comment on, evaluate and use women’s bodies.
How Male Sexual Entitlement Hurts Women
Sexually entitled men may feel it’s their right to leer, make unwanted advances and/or inappropriately touch women.
Sexual harassment, street harassment, sexually motivated stalking and slut-shaming are all effects of MSE that not only affect women, but can scare them. Guys who take MSE to the extreme believe that women owe them sexual favors in exchange for attention, aggressiveness, or just plain existing.
These men also feel sexually entitled because they think being nice is synonymous with being good. They may be helpful but with an agenda. Pretending to be a decent human being to get sex makes you a creep. Synonyms be damned.
Men who adopt the “I’m nice, do me” attitude help perpetuate the idea that sex is reward, not an act of intimacy between two people. Sex isn’t a reward for good behavior, chivalry, or niceties.
Period.
How Male Sexual Entitlement Hurts Men
Instead of relaxing when they get rejected, their egos get wounded. Someone has denied them what they believe is their right and now they have to choose how to react to it.
Many men learn to be ok with not getting what they want sexually. Some can enjoy just being friends with women, even if they were initially sexually interested in them.
MSE can create a fear of rape for women. Men who react badly to being denied sex can become a part of and reinforce rape culture. Some
turn to misogyny to avoid feelings of vulnerability.
The majority of entitled men may not consciously promote a permissive attitude toward rape. They may not all be angry misogynists. They're accountable for the way they treat others, but are also a product of a society that constantly bombards them with images of women as objects for consumption.
We need to focus on both changing our cultural attitudes of entitlement, and model healthier ways of relating to women we’re sexually interested in.
How Can You Avoid Feeling Entitled?
In short, check yourself. If at any point in time you believe you are owed sex for any reason —including being a decent human being — you are thinking in terms of sexual entitlement.
Also, avoid viewing a woman’s role in sex as totally passive. Though women are traditionally stereotyped as having absent or mysterious sexualities, that's a lie. Women have orgasms, horniness, sexual fantasies, everything a man has in terms of sexual desires.
If you’re in a relationship or talking to someone you’re interested in, communicate. This keeps you aware of boundaries, and you can make a space to talk about your desires without demanding that they be fulfilled.
Because sexual entitlement is so normalized, even guys who care about respecting women can be guilty of it. Women can also enable it by passively supporting it or actively participating in this thinking and behavior. Both men and women need to check themselves around this.
WTS
