Women Take $hits: Valentine's Day

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Day - The Blood of It

To all the lovers out there, surely this is a special day. Flowers galore. Chocolate and champagne (both of which I'm now allergic to) will surely be flowing in your bedroom tonight.

BUT,

For a sometimes -cynical-about-love- chick like me, fuk all that.

Oh what, you thought this entry was gonna be all cutesy-n-shit cuz it's Valentine's Day?

NOPE.

Valentine's Day experiences aren't always sweet.

With that being said, today we honor Valentine's Day by remembering one of our favorite movies,

1981's cult classic, "My Bloody Valentine".

This movie is corny, ultra-gory, and reeks of early 80's cheesiness.

So basically, it's genius.

A movie to curl up under the covers with your boyfriend, and scare the shit out of yourselves.

Happy Valentine's Day motherfuckers. Love you!

The small town of Valentine Bluffs is seen preparing for a Valentine's Day dance. The town is home to a coal mine where many of the local men work, both young and old. Hanniger, the town Mayor, discusses the Valentine's Day dance with a woman named Mabel Osborne, who runs a laundromat.

Mabel..You in danger girl..

Dryer Death scene

With the death of Mabel, the dance is cancelled. T.J. and his group of friends gather at the local bar, where they hear stories from the bartender about Harry Warden and his rampage.
Hanniger makes a vague reference to a past tragedy associated with Valentine's Day, and we learn that this is the first Valentine's dance to be held in decades. 20 years ago, a mining accident trapped five men underneath the ground. The accident was due to the negligence of two supervisors who were anxious to get to the Valentine's dance (Rushing to get some booty), having left their posts while the men were still below—Of the five men who were trapped in the explosion, four of them died. A survivor named Harry Warden was rescued, found in a state of mental collapse; the rescue took so long that Harry had resorted to cannibalism to survive, eating the bodies of his dead coworkers. A year later, Harry took his revenge on the two supervisors, killing them with a pick axe and cutting out their hearts, leaving them in decorative Valentine candy boxes and warning the town to never hold another Valentine's dance ever again or else he will keep killing should the warning not be followed.

Newby phones the mental institution where Harry Warden was incarcerated, but there is no trace of him there; his records are lost and his contact cannot tell Newby where Harry is or whatever became of him. Newby and Hanniger fear that Harry Warden has come back to continue his killing spree..

A young couple named John (Rob Stein) and Sylvia (Helene Udy) are making out in the shower area of the mine facility. When John leaves to go get beer, Sylvia is attacked by the miner, who first traps her by dropping miners' coveralls from the ceiling, then ambushes her and viciously impales her head on a shower nozzle.

One of the miners, Hollis (Keith Knight) allows some of the others to convince him to take them down into the mine. He heads down there with ...another couple, Michael (Thomas Kovacs) and Harriet (Terry Waterland).

While down there, Michael and Harriet go off into the engine room to make love, and the miner impales them with a large drill bit.

A flashback reveals Axel is the son of one of the supervisors murdered by Harry Warden. As a very young boy Axel was in the room and saw his father's violent death while hiding underneath the bed. The shock apparently snapped his mind, leaving him unstable, his potential for violence unleashed by the recurrence of the Valentine's dance.

The film ends as an insane Axel runs deeper into the mine singing "Daddy's gone away, Harry Warden made you pay" to himself. The screen fades to black and the audience can hear the sound of Harry Warden laughing, revealing that he is still alive and will get his revenge on the next Valentine's Day, but he stops as the credits roll and a ballad for Harry Warden plays with the credits.

More "My Bloody Valentine" death scenes

The corny, bloody, so bad they're funny death reels. #loveit