10 Ways to Work Out at the Gym.. w/o Working Out

The gym and I have a love/hate relationship. I love how I feel when I work out, but I hate to actually GO. It's cold outside. And as of late, I loathe changing my clothes. With all of the winter layering of of leggings, undershirts, sweaters on top of shirts, etc., changing is itself a work out. This article explains how to workout in the gym without having to do the work. When your conscience starts nagging you about going to the gym, you can silence it by reminding it that you did go to the gym.

What you did there however, is another story. Lol..

-WTS.

10 Ways to Work Out at the Gym Without Exercising

Are you having trouble maintaining your gym routine? You're not alone.

I hadn't gone to the gym in so long that I'd forgotten how to silently judge everyone and get ice cream afterwards.

Why do we always talk about how much we want to go to the gym and then never do? The answer: exercise. Like many of you, I was holding on to the false belief that I had to actually work out at the gym to feel good about myself.

But it's not true. There are great ways to reap all the rewards of feeling like you worked out, without any of the benefits of actually exercising.

Here are 10 ways to do just that.

1. Sleep in your gym clothes

Getting to the gym is hard. Reduce the morning friction by sleeping in your gym clothes. When you wake up, this is one less thing to do.

Pro tip: If you're always wearing gym clothes, you always feel like you're working out.

If you end up not leaving your house, spending all day on the couch in your gym clothes is great alternative to working out at the gym. And you get a head start on the next day, too. Either way, you always feel like you worked out.

2. Warm up with a glass of wine

It's a little known fact that alcohol makes everything easier, especially when it comes to feeling like you worked out.

The benefits of having a glass of wine before heading to the gym can't be overstated:
You exude confidence, intimidating everyone around you
You don't even notice you're using that machine backwards
In fact, you think you may have invented a new technique
The time just melts away and suddenly you've spent 3 hours at the gym (passed out in the locker room)
You won't remember if you worked out or not, so you can assume you did.

3. "Accidentally" forget something

"Accidentally" forgetting your favorite water bottle, headphones or sports bra is a great way to go to the gym and then be able to leave immediately.

Let everyone on Facebook and Twitter know how bummed you are about not getting to work out, then go get a milkshake.

4. The perfect 60 minute workout

Spend the first 10 minutes of your workout stretching on a mat. Stretching is just like yoga but with more napping.

Pro tip: Occasionally tweet about how important stretching is, and how great your stretch was.

Spend the last 50 minutes in the sauna, working up a decent sweat while not moving at all. It's the perfect way to feel the burn without burning anything.

5. Wait for machines

If you see a machine that someone's using, go over and wait for it. Ask the person how long they'll be. If they say they'll only be a few minutes, tell them you can't wait. Then, go wait for another machine.

Pro tip: Waiting for exercise machines is a great way to feel like you're working out at the gym.

If you do end up sitting at a machine, spend 5 minutes adjusting it. Then walk away.

If you end up on a treadmill, pretend it's broken. Then walk away.

6. Fill your water bottle

Hydration is so important isn't it? Who cares. The time you spend time filling and refilling your water bottle will help pass the time and make you feel like you worked out at the gym.

7. Do some fake weight training

Pick up a few weights, sit down at a bench and stretch for 2 minutes. Then, get up and put the weights back. You'll feel like you might have done something with them and no one will be able to tell you didn't.

8. Look like you're keeping track of something

Get a smart watch that does incredibly complicated timers, stopwatches and rep counting. Look at it intently, as if you're counting something, holding your finger to your neck if you can.

Real weight trainers always carry around notebooks. Get one and keep referring to it. Play tic tac toe with yourself or paste a crossword puzzle into it.

9. Wear a towel and sunglasses

First, wear sunglasses at the gym so you look cool and also so no one can tell when you're asleep.

Second, wear a slightly moist towel around your neck -- it will feel like sweat.

Finally, practice seeming completely bored and annoyed with everyone, as if you're at the gym all the time. You'll feel right at home, like you really belong there.

10. Leave looking like a pro

Douse your head with water so you feel like you've had the workout of your life. Make sure your water bottle is only half full, so it feels like you've been drinking it. Your gym bag should be as giant as possible.

Hopefully this will help you feel like you're working out at the gym and maintain your extreme aversion to exercise -- all at the same time.

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The No-Hands Self Orgasm..

It's always a good idea to treat yourself to something nice. A good meal. A movie. A massage. Sometimes, an orgasm.

And hypnotism. Forget about the stereotypical, "you are getting sleepy.." line. Hypnosis can induce many mind-states.

Including orgasmic ones.

We are now going to use hypnosis to provide a body-jerking climax. Orgasms that happen in the mind first. Orgasms that last more than a few seconds.

Youtube transforms into You-lube.

Relax.
Breathe.
Enjoy.

10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

Hello Readers. Happy New Year my loves. There are many "What men want" lists out there, but you know me. I take what I post very seriously (because YOU'LL be reading it), so I did my own research on this article before posting. The consensus amongst my guy friends is that the 10 things listed here are very accurate.


Freud called female sexuality “the dark continent”; if that’s true, male sexuality could qualify as the dark planet. But when it comes to sex, guys are simple, right? Not true. The bedroom is one of the great stages of male performance, and as such, what you see and hear is typically the role, not the reality. It’s no wonder, in trying to please the actor, a woman loses sight of a guy’s true identity. Here are 10 “unmasking” facts you may want to know:

1. We Respond to Praise 

It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities.

2. We Fear Intimacy..

..but not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins—of words, thoughts, feelings—and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men—not because it’s smothering, but because we realize how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly.

3. We Appreciate Sex for Sex’s Sake

Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a little “throw-me-down sex” is the right medicine. According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist, “Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.” On occasion, try letting him ravish you.

4. We Are Not Just Our.. 

The penis gets all the press, but men have “many erogenous zones,” says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. “Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.” Like the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during oral sex.

5. We Encourage Fantasies

“Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer reports that men wish women would reveal their imaginings. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, Dr. Kort recommends asking the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios.

6. We Like It When You Talk

Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears. What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker.

7. We Need Your Honesty

Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain
about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.

8. We Enjoy the Dance

Men like a good quest; unfortunately, these days, there are so few. But romance earns that distinction. Allow us to court you; make us deserve your desire. Dr. Kort makes an additional point: “Emotional intimacy is about closeness, but sustaining sexual desire demands a certain amount of distance.” How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls “separate sexuality”: a sexual life that doesn’t include, but doesn’t betray, the other. “For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use toys or letting other men look at her; for her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy.” Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties.

9. We Can Explain Pornography

Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, says Dr. Kort, but it
shouldn’t be overreacted to or pathologized. A few things to clear up: 1. Sex addicts represent only 4 percent of the population, so it’s unlikely your man is one. 2. Because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on. In other words, says Dr. Kort, “no woman can, nor should she, be everything to a man.” Still, the question remains: How does a woman not take pornography personally? First, determine if your mate is compulsive, or can only have sex, with pornography. If so, you may want to seek counseling. If not, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography by discussing it. Use the lens of “what about it turns him on versus what turns you off.” That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity and closeness.

10. We Always Need It, But Not for the Reason You Think

Men are accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this. “Men see sex as a celebration,” says Dr. Schaefer. “They wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to it. We move through life at the speed of sound, with multiplying challenges and pressures. It’s easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure and opportunity that sex affords us. On the long list of priorities, it should not be on the bottom rung.” If that doesn’t make you want to “seize the day” (or something else), consider the health benefits: Orgasms release oxytocin, which has been called the “bonding hormone,” bringing couples closer together while it alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.

If none of these tips help, you can always read this book. The reviews are pretty positive.

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