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Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Listless..
One thing I try to do in life and with this blog, is not come off as (too) angry at men. I don't always succeed lol, but I try. I attempt to be understanding and non-judgmental, but the mind-sets, self-beliefs and behaviors of some guys (individually and globally).. truly drive me crazy at times.
One of the biggest aggravators for me is men's attitudes about themselves and how it relates to women. Lots of men feel that because they have a penis and do something nice for a woman every once and a while, she should be undyingly grateful and supportive. What they fail to consider is, suppose that's not enough? Taking us out to dinner is great and thank you, but we need more than a meal. Much more. A woman who is happy with that arrangement is a woman who
A) Is settling
B) Needs to raise her self-esteem and self-worth.
A man who would realistically expect a woman to be happy with presenting this arrangement of nothingness is weak and truly uninformed. He also needs an adjustment of the self-esteem meter.
I was in a relationship where a man gave me bare minimum and expected complete loyalty and gratitude, as opposed to the reciprocated crumbs he offered.
He left me BEYOND drained. It was as if he woke up for the sole reason of stealing my energy and light. We lived together so up and leaving took some planning. He was overbearing, possessive and crazy. Everything was always my fault. It got to the point where I had no strength left to argue. I would nod my head while secretly checking apartment listings. We even went to couples therapy where he said virtually nothing. After we left, I asked why he was so silent. He said to me, "I don't know that guy. I don't want him in my business."
I knew right then we were completely through.
Fast forward a few years to today. I'm currently doing a fast and detoxing my body, mind and even my home. While cleaning through papers that have accumulated over the years, I found a poem I wrote in college about that very draining relationship. I was so bereft of energy, I didn't bother to capitalize any of the words. I suppose the professor didn't mind.
I got an A+.
My tales of woe was called,
Listless
if i were fabric, i'd be frayed. unraveled. worn and threadbare.
split ragged like the very bottom of hair.
if i was a color, i'd be dull. limp. inching along with small breaths. tiny gasps.
off-blacks and grays. to match the nervousness of my days.
if i was water i'd be a drip. a plop and a plip. not enough to cover a tongue or soak a stamp.
not enough to be defined as damp.
if i was a house i'd be run-down. crumbling bricks hitting the ground. once fiery orange now rusted. water spots. peeling paint. the vibrance of my true color is faint. walls that sway, barely not giving in. like weeping willow trees. backs become hunched by the force of the breeze.
if i was sleep i'd be a nap. a quick closed eye retina cap. a box too small for a gift. like the eye of a needle, too tiny for a dream to fit. like a blink, much too swift.
i am a cobweb. a covering not asked to be there. the result of age and dust, dirt and neglect. I am the redness, from the boot on the neck. i am the fog on the window. the soot. the ash. i am the crackle under the shoe, no moisture to stick to.
i sag.
i droop.
not the top tier, but the stoop.
i. am. worn. down.
-WTS.
Friday, February 20, 2015
"Nice" is for Wimps
If this man tells me to "be nice" ONE more time, I might absolutely do this..
The thing is, he's not a bad guy. He's just a GUY, and most men don't get it. They don't see how offensive they can be, until a woman points it out.
Why not advise me to
Be bold.
Be brave.
Be fearless.
Be inspired.
Be ambitious.
Be MYSELF.
Why nice? Why on earth would I want to be nice? If someone needs me to be nice that usually means their weak as shit.
This doesn't mean I should be disrespectful. I can be quite professional and succinct.
But nice?
I don't like where nice girls end up.
I've had men say, "Be good." I look at them like, who the fuck are you, ET?
"Be good" has a translation:
DON'T FUCK ANYONE ELSE WHILE WE'RE APART.
"Be good" also ranks high on the condescension chart.
I usually tell men to "Be safe."
Translation?
"Where a condom dummy."
Nothing condescending about that.
I'm not liking this post.
I feel my anger rising.
Time to go. I'm over men's bullshit right now..
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
10 Ridiculously Sexist and Dangerous Laws From Around the World
The War on Women continues globally. From legalized domestic abuse to bride kidnappings, laws made to oppress women are still firmly in place in many parts of the world. The best protection, (other than a firearm and a steady hand) is AWARENESS. Many of these absurd legal conjectures are hidden knowledge to most of the women they apply to. I doubt married women in India raped by their husbands, would fail to call it rape simply because of their age.
According to their government however, if they're married and over the age of 15, it's not rape. I'm not sure which is sadder in this instance. The fact that the law won't recognize rape or that this law only "protects" brides under 15.
Um...Why are they under 15 and married in the first place?
In any case, we have to keep protecting ourselves and all women. With the archaic and dangerous belief that women are mens' properties, laws and practices like these will continue. We have to keep pushing, keep educating, and keep kicking oppressors in the balls..
But if they're over 15 years old, let's not call it assault. - WTS.
Once in a while in the U.S. we hear about a bill or a law that seems like it must be a joke. For example, in Florida it is illegal for a single woman to parachute or skydive on a Sunday. This week in Montana, a legislator explained that he seriously wants to make it illegal for women to wear yoga pants in public.
These examples might seem silly and inconsequential, but even so, at their core, they speak to very discriminatory ideas about gender, authority and rights that manifest themselves in much more dangerous ways all over the world, including in the United States. Last year in California, an appeals court overturned a rapist's conviction after a judge cited a standing 1872 law stating only married women could legally be raped. Last December, a legislator in Missouri proposed a bill reading, "No abortion shall be performed or induced unless and until the father of the unborn child provides written, notarized consent to the abortion." And, because I promised myself I'd repeat this every single chance I have until it's not true, it is still legal in more than 30 states in the United States for a rapist to sue his rape victim for child visitation and custody if his forcible insemination resulted in a pregnancy.
WOW.
As ridiculous as these sound to some of us, they were not included in a top 10 list of misogynistic laws compiled in a report released today by women's rights advocacy group Equality Now. The report describes laws maintained by more than 50 governments. Many reflect the institutionalization of men's entitlement to rape or beat wives and to "own" children. Others limit women's movements and ability to work based on what husbands want.
Here are the top 10:
1. Saudi Arabia maintains its 1990 Fatwa prohibiting "women's driving of automobiles" as "a source of undeniable vices".
Last week, in a TV talk show, an historian defending this prohibition suggested that foreign female drivers be imported wholesale to avoid the shame that the rape ("not a big deal" for a woman) would bring to the family. Of course, Saudi Arabia is only one of a handful of countries, including The Vatican, where women cannot vote. Saudi women are also, effectively, electronically tagged... if they try to travel out of the country their guardians are automatically contacted.
2. A 2013 Indian act confirmed the legality of marital rape... "Sexual intercourse or sexual acts by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape."
India has the world's highest number of early marriages and while fewer girls younger than 15 are being married (18.2 percent), the rates for girls ages 15-18 has increased to 29.2 percent. Waiting a year eliminates "rape."
3. In the U.S., a child born outside of marriage can only be granted citizenship in certain cases relating to the father.
For example, when "a blood relationship between the person and the father is established by clear and convincing evidence" or "the father (unless dead) agreed, in writing, to provide financially for the person until they reach age of eighteen. Somehow, I doubt that millennials, for whom out-of-wedlock births are the norm, know that this might be the case where they live.
4. Likewise, Yemen's 1992 act says that a wife "must permit [her husband] to have legitimate intercourse with her when she is fit to do so."
No age limit. Fourteen percent of girls in Yemen are married to adult men before they are 15. (R. Kelly should move to Yemen, huh?) Periodically, the news cycle is interrupted by a sad and enraging story about girls and women assaulted, sometimes to death, by their husbands. While efforts are underway to change the legal age of marriage to 18, marital rape is a separate issue. In either case, Yemen is in the process of falling apart as I type.
5. In Malta, a kidnapper "after abducting a person, shall marry such person, he shall not be liable to prosecution."
This may seem like a strange law to some, however bride kidnappings are a real problem in many countries and common in certain cultures. (A post on this to come soon).
6. In Nigeria, violence "by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife" is just fine.
It is difficult for some, however, to live in a country where this is true and then move to another where it is not. Sahara Reporters' Abidodun Ladepo wrote about multiple cases of Nigerian men beating and killing their wives in the U.S. These women are among the three who die each day here at the hands of their spouses.
7. Women in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where during the war an estimated 48 women were raped per hour and where rape, including rape tied to intimate partner violence, continues at horrific rates, "is obliged to live with her husband and follow him wherever he sees fit to reside."
Marital rape is not a punishable offense.
8. In Guinea women are not allowed to have "a separate profession from that of her husband" if he objects.
9. Kenya's 2014 Marriage Act legitimizes polygamy.
"A marriage celebrated under customary law or Islamic law is presumed to be polygamous or potentially polygamous." This law is one thread in a very thick and complicated cloth. Women's rights groups in the country seemed torn. Some applauded the law because polygamy is so widely practice and the law extended vital protections to all wives that were previously denied.
10. A Bahamian act dating from 1991, two years before the last U.S. state outlawed marital rape, defines rape as anyone older than 14 "having sexual intercourse with another person who is not his spouse."
In addition, married Bahamian women cannot pass their nationality to children, with foreign fathers, born outside of the country. This is not true for children born to Bahamian men. It's also easier for men to get citizenship for spouses.
Rape laws, laws governing movement or work or children's nationality are reflections of deeply held and rooted ideas about women being men's property. The common law history of rape laws in particular show that rape was, and in many cases still is, not about a woman's human rights being violated, but about a man -- her father, brother, husband -- having his property stolen. They were never meant to actually protect the raped, but rather defend these property rights. Rape, domestic violence, control of movement -- these are, by many men and the countries they govern, understood as entitlements. Men surveyed in the largest global study of gender-based violence cited "entitlement" as the "primary reason" that they sexually assaulted women.
Women living in countries where they face multiple forms of legal discrimination are rendered exceptionally vulnerable to both spousal and state abuse. If they marry foreigners, or bear their children abroad, they constantly fear deportation of their families if they "get out of line." Because they are women, their families are economically disadvantaged in terms of property ownership and access to financial tools. When women cannot pass nationality on to children or their spouses it also frequently means their families have no access to public services. Their children have no automatic and equal right to be educated in public schools, and their families might not have access to national heath care. If they are in abusive relationships they are much more likely to fear the loss of their children, who can be used to extort and control them. The inability to pass nationality on to male spouses and to children puts women at risk. Combined with other discriminatory laws, it hurts them and their families every day.
Equality Now has, for several years, led a global campaign to end sexism in laws governing nationality. In the wake of the newly released report, they are pursing country-by-country #unsexylaws campaigns, which include opportunities for interested people and organizations to support grass-roots activists.
Source
Monday, February 9, 2015
The Benefits of Vaginal Weightlifting
Aside from doing kegels (when I remember) I haven't really exercised my vagina. Wait, do dicks count? Not by the sound of this article they don't. Vaginal King Fu is something I never heard of, and probably won't be trying, but Yoni balls sound good. I'm all for vaginal health, better orgasms and increasing my sexual energy too. Hrmm.. maybe I shouldn't increase my sexual energy. My vagina gets so hungry I sometimes wonder of she has teeth. Anyhoo, I'm in favor of all things healthy vagina, and vagina weight lifting is on the list. At the bottom of the page are some links to where you can buy different vagina weights. Go for it ladies. Work your cooch!
A strong pelvic floor and vagina can bring a myriad of benefits to your life. Including:
Have more orgasms.
Have better orgasms. By better I mean, mind-, body- and spirit-altering orgasms that are longer, deeper, more intense, and include the ability to ejaculate.
Keep your internal organs (I.e. no pelvic organ prolapse).
Up your libido. When the vagina is weak, it feels numb. Sex is infinitely more pleasurable with a sensitive and articulate vagina.
Eliminate issues of urinary incontinence.
Increase circulation in the vaginal canal and produce lubrication more easily (this is the main reason women do not lubricate profusely).
Integrate your sexual energy into everything you do. When women are dissociated from their vaginas, they are also cut off from the natural and enlivening flow of their sexual energy. When the vagina is brought back to life, that vital, life-force energy is available to you to channel into all parts of your life.
A natural facelift. When you strengthen and pull up the pelvic floor muscles, you create an energetic lift throughout the entire body, which even registers in the face. I have had clients stop using Botox after beginning their lifting practice.
Be able to shoot ping pong balls. This is every woman's God-given right.
These things are possible for every woman: ping pong tricks, multiple orgasms, ejaculate that shoots across the room, and insane, life-changing pleasure.
All you need is a strong vagina. She has one for sure..
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