Never Tell A Guy You're On Your Period - EVER

I woke up in pain. I became angry with my body almost immediately.

"It's the middle of the week!" I thought. "What are you DOING??"

Dreading the fact that I had to get out of my bed to go to work, I was especially pissed that my body was entertaining rather excruciating cramps. For the sake of simply healing and feeling better, I really needed to stay in my bed.

Whatever happened to the days when the female body automatically took into account the industrialized world's apathy regarding our womanly processes, and ovaries obediently released their eggage ONLY on our days off?

The days a woman could just be a woman, and have her cramps in peace? Writhe gracefully in her lower back pain, and wait for the 1000mg Motrin to kick in? Days when she could be bloated without an audience, and take her PMS out on the cat, not colleagues.

When it comes to the biological methodology of period receivement, what's with all this get-up-and-go-to-work shit?

Internal aching in place, the last thing I cared about was getting to a job. Feeling further betrayed, I had to endure the entire trip without the medication taking effect.

Motrin you bastard. 

Arriving 30 minutes late, I had vibes of "You're lucky I came in at all BITCHES. Bah, Hormorne!"

I was bleeding goddamit, and it wasn't from no boxing match.

The new status quo of the woman workforce no longer cares about womens' needs during femme time. Nevermind Ugly Betty, it's all about the Benjamins now.

So I get to work and a Dude asks me what's wrong.

HA!

Never tell a man (you're seeing) when you've gotten your period. If you can, don't tell your bf either.

He will keep track FOREVER. Unless he has blood seeping out his OWN pussy, or he's your husband and you're trying to get pregnant (aww, good luck!), it's never a man's business.

Not to mention ladies, you won't be able to use it as an excuse. Don't wanna have sex? Don't feel like being bothered? He's a nymphomaniac and you simply need a break cuz your inner thighs still hurt from last time?

You won't be able to pull out the Period-Card. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES must you tell men when the Redcoats have come marching in.

In the event you have cramps, pretend its something you ate. If he's coming over, hide all evidence of MenstrualDom. True, men just looove seeing remnants of tampons and pads anyway, (it's a big turn-on..*NOT*), but still. Keep your period between your legs.

And yourself.

When some guys start keeping track, don't be surprised if they avoid you during that most Womanest Time. Most will want to wait till it's over to have sex. True, if he loves you he'll spend time with you regardless, but with most guys, if he knows you're on your period, the lights may go off but your panties won't. What's crazy is men can watch the bloodiest sports on Earth, but get squeamish when it comes to Motherblood, (the very blood that enveloped them when their scaredy-cat asses came out of the womb).

I call this a Blood-Clotsymoron.

The unfortunate thing with fraidy-cat men is that many women get even hornier when they have their monthlies. My theory is that the body is trying to get that egg fertilized. It zooms up the "fuck me juice" in a woman's brain to make that happen. This would explain why women sexually peak in their late 30's and early 40's. Their body is trying to catch the last train to Babyville, and revs up that Neuro-Emotion Lotion as a result.

Not all men faint at the sight of a maxipad though. Some guys may not mind having sex when you're menstruating. Men that have children and have 'seen it all before,' typically aren't turned off by blood, and some guys in general just plain ole' don't care. It's nice when a man doesn't make you feel like a leper because you bleed for 5 days straight and don't die.

There's a special breed however, who might actually prefer you to be 'on the rag.' Who might that be, you ask?

The Rainbow Kissers of course.

A Rainbow Kiss according to Wiki:

A Rainbow Kiss is when a man goes down on a woman while she is on her period, gets blood in his mouth, and kisses it back into her mouth.

Wanna take it a step further?

A Hershey's Rainbow Kiss according to Urban Dictionary:

Involves a man and a woman engaging in a 69 position while the woman is on her period. After gathering sperm into the woman's mouth and blood into the man's mouth, one or both parties collects a bit of feces in one or both mouths and swaps all the ingredients.

Eww. I think I prefer the squeamish guy.

In any case, I still advise women to keep their periods a mystery as much as possible. The good news is that cycles change, so if your guy does start keeping track, he won't be accurate forever. Eventually your period will come sooner or later than what he thinks, and thanks to hormones your cycle may  change entirely.

Of course, if and when that happens, keep it to yourself.

Ovulation + Speculation = Penetration.

Menstruation + Confirmation = him on Playstation.

Just sayin.

-WTS.

8 is the new 5..

You can get HIV from THAT??

A stylist offered me an earring to go with my outfit.

I asked, "Is this your earring?" to which they replied, "Yes."

I had personal knowledge that this person was HIV positive. I wasn't about to risk my life for an earring.

I didn't say anything, and just left the earring on the table. I looked at them like, "Ummkay.."

Maybe they didn't know what the problem was?

I suppose this speaks to my
A) Being a conspiracy theorist and,
B) Being a conspiracy theorist and not trusting "facts" given to the public about what's safe and what isn't.

I admit, I don't believe a lot of what's said about HIV, specifically, the ways we're told we CANNOT contract it. I think many truths are omitted because if  fully aware of the ALL the ways we could get it, we'd  never leave the house. As a confirmed conspiracy theorist I rarely ever think a cigar is just a cigar.

The name of the game is Safety, and you can't always rely on the Department of Health to provide it. I always say do your own homework and protect yourself. Don't be surprised if the CDC comes out with a "We Didn't Know That Then" campaign down the road like they did with cancer from cigarettes. And the dangers of microwaves. And blood transfusions. And mercury. And asbestos. And you get the picture.

Compiled are a few ways people can contract the virus but may not consider. We are often such a trusting society, certain things never enter our minds. Of course, the ways mentioned are contingent upon someone already having HIV, but that doesn't mean they don't count. I think most can agree that when it comes to the business of HIV, most people will absolutely not tell you if they have it. In certain instances and for the sake of protection, it might be safer to simply pretend they do.


Ways We Don't Think About Getting HIV:

Your Doctor, Nurse or Dental Professional

When was the last time you asked your doctor or dentist their HIV status? Doctors, nurses nor dentists are required to disclose their HIV status or any other health issues. The American Medical Association and the American Dental Association strongly urge their members NOT to engage in activities that carry risk of HIV transmission, however, it's  suggested not required. Look for any cuts, scratches, sores, lesions or skin rashes on any medical professional that touches you. These are people that come into contact with the bodily fluids, disorders, god-knows-what of other people everyday. Don't just assume that because they're a doctor they're disease free. You have no idea what conditions these medical professionals have and by law, they don't have to tell you.

Earrings

True, HIV doesn't live outside the body for long, but if someone shares earrings with you (or other piercings) you should sterilize them before using them. This includes earrings, nose rings, navel rings, Marilyn moles, etc., just bought from a store. You can't be sure whom, if anyone, tried them on before you. Don't chance it! Sterilizing will eliminate not only HIV but other skin infections. If there's blood on the earring or any type of "bodily fluid" that you can't see, you could be taking a risk. Sterilize with rubbing alcohol, and be able to sleep at night :)

Giving Blood

 

 

Disposable needles are supposed to be used just once and that's all. The key words are SUPPOSED TO. Make sure you see with your own eyes that the needle placed in your arm is brand new and sterile. When outside of the US or other western countries, it's important to remember not all developing countries have access to sterile needles. Watch it!

  Eyeliner

Remember, the lining of your lower eyelid is moist, and is kept moist by BODILY FLUID. If
someone uses their eyeliner, then passes it to you, some of that fluid could mingle with your fluid and the next thing you know..

Yep.

Is looking like Cleopatra worth it? Sharing eye make-up is also an excellent way of getting conjunctivitis (pink eye) so basically, if you don't have your own, you might wanna SKIP IT. 

 Getting a Tattoo

Again with the needles. Make sure whomever is giving you the tattoo is using sterilized equipment and a fresh needle. Express your art, don't die from it.

Crack Pipes

Some public health agencies have reported that it might be possible to contract HIV by sharing a crack pipe. The theory is that smoking crack with a homemade crack pipe can cause burns or sores on the lips, which can lead to transmission of diseases between crack users who have burns or sores. Herpes and hepatitis are the major concerns, but it's been theorized that HIV might be transmitted this way as well.

Surgery

Going to get cheap plastic surgery in a burgeoning third-world country? You might get you more than you bargained for. Do your research on the facility and medical staff. Getting a butt lift for a third of the price might sound ideal, but not if you get something you can't get rid of.

Getting Bit

If someone with HIV bites you and breaks the skin.. well.. you might wanna start doing some of the things on your bucket list. You can also try PEP if you are exposed to HIV to help reduce the risk. Gotta act fast though.

Using Someone's Razor

Unfortunately, the razor you're borrowing isn't gonna say, "I cut the last person that used me.." You may not be able to see exactly what's on that razor. Blood, fluids, skin, whatever. Don't use any one's razor but your own. Your health is worth more than getting rid of a little stubble!

Sports

Boxing, Kickboxing, Cage Fighting, and other bloody martial art forms are currently the only sports which HIV positive people are outwardly discouraged from engaging. Due to the large amounts of cuts, nicks and blood, the risks of contracting a disease are highly increased. They say you can't get HIV through sweat but be careful none-the-less.

 From your Barber

If he/she cut or nicked your neck or head, you could be exposed. If they nicked the person before you and didn't thoroughly sanitize their tools, you could be at risk. If they themselves have any cuts or nicks that are open and/or bleed, pay attention. Don't be so blindly trusting. Do you know the HIV status of your barber? Be sure to check the tools being used on you. Make sure they've been properly sanitized.   

Cleaning Bloodstains from Floors and Clothes

Cleaning blood fresh or dried should ALWAYS be done with latex gloves. The HIV virus does not remain viable outside the body for very long. Detergent and bleach will easily destroy HIV, but you CAN get it if you come into direct contact with it.These socks are so "Dexter", no?

Toothbrushes

First off, I think using someone else's toothbrush is disgusting, but for those who don't I have another "D" word for you: DEADLY. Gums bleed ALL THE TIME. You never know what is IN or ON the bristles of the toothbrush you're borrowing. Toothbrushes can be what, $0.99?? Just buy a new toothbrush and call it a day. 

Condoms 

All condoms are not created equal. Lambskins feel more "realistic", but they do not protect against HIV. Pregnancy yes. HIV no. Stick to latex. 

Or marry her and use nothing. :)

 

I'll admit, first off, I'm a germaphobe, so if you even cough in my direction expect a full spraying of Lysol your way. Second, I admit the above scenarios are extreme and probably highly unlikely, but still, it never hurts to arm yourself with a little extra knowledge. Sometimes it's better to be paranoid than sorry..

Why Men Prefer 'Thick' Women

For many a man, especially Black men, big asses and thighs are the desired look of the women they seek to be with. The world was put on to this preferred physique back in the late 80's when the raunchy rap group '2 Live Crew' changed the images of Black women in music videos. Not skinny, and not in the middle, the sought after frame was

THICK. 

 

2 Live Crews "Move Somethin" seemed to single-handedly start its own movement. The women in this video would become the blueprint for the type of female body form showcased in rap videos, (a medium heavily occupied and viewed by Black men).

In 1989, LL Cool J's "Big Ole' Butt" also communicated mens' desire for an ass that made a difference. It was so important in fact, that LL was decidedly leaving one woman after another, going with the bigger butt each time.

In 1992, thanks to Sir Mix-a-Lots ever famous hit, 'Baby Got Back,' big rears everywhere came to be glorified, noticed and appreciated. The ass debate was settled. Women were celebrated for having "back" or more aptly put, A BIG ASS. A more pronounced derriere (aka "thick") became a very elite physique, and remains so to this day.

Everybody doesn't have "back" although some do try..



Some women know how important it is for their careers, and have gone under the knife to achieve this renown feminine silhouette.

This includes models..

Entertainers..

And even porn stars..

So before we begin, lets make absolutely sure we're all on the same page about what "thick" is.


THIS? NOT thick..

Looks nice, but this is NOT thick..

 

 
I don't know WHAT this is, but this is not thick. BREATHE hun!

This is Not thick, this is WRONG! lol..

Nor is this thick. Those who can DO. Those who can't, make fun of. Kristen Chenowith is jealous IMO, as are many women who will NEVER have the curves of uh.. 'certain others'..

 

And this CERTAINLY is NOT thick.

I said Thick not Giant.

This would be a better example of thick:

Gorgeous!

One of the keys to being "thick" and not "fat" is a THIN WAIST. And it doesn't encompass only Black women. We have..



Latina thick..(her hips look suspect though, #injections)

Eastern European thick..

Asian thick..

White chick thick..

They even have a name for white girls with big butts..

And of course.. the Queens who started it all..

A "thick" woman is basically, a woman who has an hourglass shape, but with a meaty butt and thighs. By no means a waif nor obese, she's in the middle, leaning more towards chunky than thin.

We definitely live in a "to each his own" kind of world, but I find that when it comes to thick women, some men won't date any other type. Oddly enough, I find that lots of times, these men themselves are much smaller than the thick woman they prefer.  What came to mind was the old nursery rhyme..

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.

It was these types of couplings that spawned my desire to do a little research on the topic. Why would a man of small to medium size prefer a woman who was much thicker than himself? And why - for some men - choose ONLY this type of woman? One could answer, "Because that's what they like.." but I was curious as to why. I had my suspicions, and not one to be left curious and unanswered, I got to digging. And what did I find??

STUDIES!!

Of course. Studies have been done on this topic to satisfy other curious nosies like myself. 

What I came to learn after researching the research, was that psychological speaking, many men prefer thicker sized women for mainly 4 reasons.

None of which are because she looks good.

Reason Number 1:


HE'S UNDER STRESS.

"When men are under stress, they are more likely to find larger women’s bodies attractive. More fuller physical features may communicate attributes such as strength and control during periods when such qualities should be most desired," the scientists wrote.

So says a small study published in the journal PLoS One. Researchers at a London University of assembled 81 men to test a hunch (based on previous studies) that men under psychological stress might prefer bigger-bodied women than men who aren’t stressed.

For one study, they divided the group in two, subjecting 41 men to a stressful experience that the study explains is commonly used in psychological research. 

First, they had to stand in front a group of people who were seated in a conference room and pretend to be a job applicant. They had to deliver a five-minute, impromptu speech explaining why they should be hired. They were told they were being videotaped and evaluated for body language and other components of their performance. After they were done talking, they had to count backward from 1,022 – by 13s.

Meanwhile, the other group of men were seated in a separate room. After 20 minutes, all the men were presented with a standard set of images of women, often used in research on attitudes toward body size. The series consists of 10 black-and-white leotard-clad women whose body sizes ranged from very thin (or “emaciated,”) to obese. They were asked to identify which body they found most attractive. They also were asked to identify the smallest body they found appealing and the largest body they found appealing. Why 20 minutes? It takes 20 minutes for the levels of the stress hormone cortisol to peak after exposure to a stressful situation, the study explains.

The results showed that men in the stressed group rated their "ideal" figure as much larger than those in the control group. The stress-free men chose smaller bodies as ideal. The connection between experiencing stress and appreciating larger women’s bodies may seem random, but there’s some biological logic behind it. From the study [citations omitted]:

"The results provide the first experimental evidence that the experience of psychological stress shapes mens' judgments of female body size," the researchers wrote.

"All the men then had to rate the attractiveness of photographed female bodies ranging from very thin to obese. The stressed group found a significantly heavier body size as the most attractive."

It even suggests that women who stress their men out, push them into the arms of a fatter woman.

"Figure-conscious women who stress their men out may find their behavior has unintended consequences." :oO

So stop nagging ladies! Unless you want your man to end up in the arms of a porker.

Speaking of pork (and other foods), this leads us into

Reason Number 2:

HE'S FINANCIALLY UNSTABLE.

A man struggling financially may subconsciously view a thicker size woman and see financial security, meaning, 

HER SIZE REPRESENTS [A] SURPLUS

If he can't "bring home the bacon" as they say, he might want to couple with a woman whose fridge is fully stocked. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Apparently that is not limited to merely cooking the groceries. According to the study, it also covers She who can afford to BUY the provisions as well.

“Our work in parts of Malaysia and Africa has shown that in poorer environments where resources are scarce, people prefer a heavy body in a potential partner,” said Tovée. “If you live in an environment where food is scarce, being heavier means you have fat stored up as a buffer against a potential food reduction in the future, and that you must be higher social status to afford the food in the first place. Both of these are attractive qualities in a partner in those circumstances."

"In other situations marked by resource uncertainty, therefore, individuals should come to idealize heavier individuals, as fatness would be associated with access to resources"

(I would say this makes sense in terms of white men and Black mens' preference in woman size. Most white men prefer thinner women because statistically and generally speaking, white men are doing better financially than Black men. It would stand to reason that white men would NOT be attracted to a woman that represents an availability of resources seeing as how they have resources available themselves).
 
And from the same study, we get 

Reason Number 3:

A LARGER BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY SUGGESTS SHE'S FERTILE.

"...Generally speaking, curves to a male subconscious, coincide with a woman's ability to conceive children. A woman with wider hips and bigger breasts (to a male subconscious), would be more capable in ways of child bearing and breast feeding than say, a super slim streamlined woman with a smaller chest. This is not so for every man, though it is an accepted thesis."

Anyone who is familiar with bodybuilding knows that when a woman reaches a certain level of body fat, meaning when it's too low, she stops ovulating. A woman who is heavier would certainly be more of an example of woman who can bear a child.

And last, Reason Number 4. The reason that I always suspected and knew:

MOMMY.

"The reason men to be more attracted to heavier members of the opposite sex may relate to feelings of insecurity and seeking protection by a mature-looking mother figure," scientists believe.

The study further notes that "larger size may signal maturity, and other qualities connected to mothers."

Thick women can represent Mommy to men, especially if their mothers are/were "thick." The excess body weight of a woman subconsciously represents nurturing (especially breasts), being wrapped in a mother's embrace, hanging on to her body as a child, and feeling her warmth. Being enveloped in the plentitude of a woman's form can be reminiscent of the womb. This is especially true of Black men who still live in their mother's home, were raised by single mother's and/or have mother's who are deceased (thus ending the ability to be physically nurtured by her).

So there ya have it.

Men prefer larger women because they're stressed, having financial issues, want a woman who can carry their seed and subconsciously long for Mommy.

I doubt that we'll ever hear this in a rap song though.

WTS reports the TRUTH!

As always, haha.

I KNOW you all have thoughts on this..

What say you??