Invisible Murderers, Rapists and Blameable Victims
Why don’t men who murder women make headlines? Why does the media sway the title to focus on the victimized instead of the victimizer?
It would seem publications that do this, are subconsciously (or perhaps consciously?) sustaining the widely held belief that women are responsible for the crimes committed against them. When a woman is raped, she is often blamed because of what she was wearing, the time the crime took place in some weird and twisted countries, for provoking a man by being sexy. These justifications skip over the plain simple bottom line:
Someone CHOSE to rape.
Period.
So when crimes against women occur and newspapers decide to report them, the question begs, why are the victims the main subject of headlines but the violent aggressors aren't?
This focus on the victim extends to children as well. Why are children described in the media as "having sex" or being in "a sexual relationship" with an adult? Children, by definition, cannot have sex with adults. It's not sex, it's rape and it's sexual abuse. There is no gray area here. Most important, sex with children IS A CRIME.
No one who has been raped or murdered has ever said anything, worn anything, done anything to cause the crime committed against them. There is only one thing that causes rape or murder and that is the decision to commit rape or murder. Nothing else.
Publicly released crime stats will tell you a lot about the victims. Their age, where they were when they were attacked, their relationship to the offender, their gender, sometimes even their occupation. The same information could be available for offenders, but it’s rarely part of the public release. The process to retrieve offenders information can include contacting the police, waiting however many weeks for the info, and paying a fee to obtain said stats.
With all this, the info is often lacking.
Journalists and editors have a responsibility to the truth. Headlines that blame victims for violence enacted against them is not journalism, it’s deception. The ideology that women and children are responsible for the violence committed against them by men is not only absurd, but dangerous.
Here's how it usually works.
John raped Mary.
John is the subject and the focus of the sentence (John committed the rape), Mary is the object (the rape was done to her).
Mary was raped by John.
John is still the subject, but now Mary is the focus of the sentence; John is trailing off at the end.
Mary was raped.
Mary is now the subject and the only focus of the sentence; John has vanished from the discussion.
Mary is a rape victim.
Not only is Mary now the only subject and focus of the sentence, the rape has become who she is, not what was done to her. Her very identity has become the cause of the rape. John is no longer involved in what happened. Violence against women.
Violence is the subject, women are the object, and the perpetrators of the violence aren’t part of the discussion.
Jane Gilmore has spent years fixing these headlines with the FixedIt Project.
She redirects focus and blame in headlines to perpetrators, NOT victims. By changing these headlines, she's exposing bias and exposing how headlines are spun by media.
Donations are highly encouraged to help Jane keep the project going. Funding will help her provide daily updates, international publications, more public speaking and will help her finish her FixedIt book.
It's beyond important to change the way men’s violence against women, children and other men is reported and understood.
By placing blame where it's accurately due and not subliminally programming people to blame victims, we might be able to reduce the amount of victims in general.
Here some examples of the FixedIt Project at work:
FixedIt: Violent abuse of women and children is more important than property damage"Arsonist". Because a violent, abusive man who nearly killed a woman and two children is defined by damage he did to property.
This report on a man charged with torture, rape and assault after allegedly holding a woman against her will for three days.
Police raided the residence last Friday, before charging the 26-year-old with torture, possession of drug utensils and two counts each of rape, assault occasioning bodily harm and common assault.
It is alleged he knew the victim and held her against her will between October 9 and October 12.
Despite the horrific nature of the charges, the man accused of these crimes is erased from the headlines, he simply doesn’t exist. The victim of the crime is the subject of the sentence.
This report is on a man who appeared in court after he allegedly stabbed, choked, kicked and punched his partner was a comprehensive article that detailed the alleged crimes and quoted police on the context of increasingly severe domestic violence in the region.
But, yet again, the headline completely erases the alleged perpetrator from the story. He’s invisible. In all honesty, the headline doesn't mention if it's a "he" at all. He hasn’t yet been tried so editors do have to be careful about not assuming guilt, but they can and should report that he was arrested and in court. They can and should be clear that police do not think this woman assaulted herself or that some indiscernible entity is accused of committing the assault.
FixedIt: Murder is not how you end a marriage Posted on November 7, 2017 by Jane Gilmore
Here's a reporting on a man who murdered his ex wife and her new boyfriend.
I don’t think there’s any need for commentary here, the fix is pretty much self explanatory.
An app now exists solely for the purpose of adding or removing makeup to any photo, with the implied purpose to show women barefaced.
Going by the name of MakeApp, its Apple Store description reads, "MakeApp lets you add or remove makeup from any face! Choose a photo or video, press one button and let the app do its magic!" In an interview with Business Insider, the app's creator, Ashot Gabrelyanov, says he developed the technology to help authorities recognize victims of human trafficking. "In most of these cases, makeup is heavily used to disguise the age and/or identity of these people," Gabrelyanov said. "If human traffickers can hide these victim's identities, their chances of rescue are low. When security services show an image and say, 'Is this your daughter?,' heavily applied permanent makeup often makes the identification process quite difficult. We hope our technology may help families and authorities identify victims for rescue."
It's hard to avoid the app's sexist undertones outside of that specific case (especially when the app's own description lists no such mention). So far, people have used it to show what celebrities look like without makeup. Whether you use makeup to show the world the self you want to be, for a quick confidence boost or as armor before you go out into the world, how you approach makeup is a choice people make for themselves. It gives women (and men) agency—and an app that claims to strip makeup from photos and show the "real" person behind it is just plain problematic.
Just because a person is wearing make-up, doesn't mean they aren't "real."
It relies on the idea that people use makeup to "trick" others.
This app was probably created by a bitter ex-boyfriend, designed to hurt the women who dumped him.
2. "Don't tell us what to believe, what to fear. Show us belief's wide skirt and the stitch that unravels fear's caul." - The Nobel Lecture in Literature
3. "Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another." - Beloved
4. "It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love ... You can't own a human being." - Song of Solomon
6. "Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."
7. "Love is never any better than the lover. " - The Bluest Eye
8. "She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it's there, because it can't hurt, and because what difference does it make?" - Song of Solomon
10. "Don't ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn't fall in love, I rose in it." - Jazz
11. "You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself." - Song of Solomon
12. "Lonely was much better than alone." - The Bluest Eye
14. "We were not strong, only aggressive; we were not free, merely licensed; we were not compassionate, we were polite; not good, but well behaved. We courted death in order to call ourselves brave, and hid like thieves from life. We substituted good grammar for intellect; we switched habits to simulate maturity; we rearranged lies and called it truth." - The Bluest Eye
15. "It is sheer good fortune to miss somebody long before they leave you." - Sula
16. "Sweet, crazy conversations full of half sentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be." - Beloved
18. "You do not deserve love regardless of the suffering you have endured. You do not deserve love because somebody did you wrong. You do not deserve love just because you want it. You can only earn - by practice and careful contemplations - the right to express it and you have to learn how to accept it." - Paradise
19. "As you enter positions of trust and power, dream a little before you think."
20. "It was a fine cry - loud and long - but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow." - Sula
22. "Had she paints, or clay, or knew the discipline of the dance, or strings, had she anything to engage her tremendous curiosity and her gift for metaphor, she might have exchanged the restlessness and preoccupation with whim for an activity that provided her with all she yearned for. And like an artist with no art form, she became dangerous." - Sula
23. "I don't think a female running a house is a problem, a broken family. It's perceived as one because of the notion that a head is a man." - Conversations With Toni Morrison
24. "There is really nothing more to say - except why. But since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how."
26. "There is a loneliness that can be rocked. Arms crossed, knees drawn up, holding, holding on, this motion, unlike a ship's, smooths and contains the rocker. It's an inside kind--wrapped tight like skin. Then there is the loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive. On its own. A dry and spreading thing that makes the sound of one's own feet going seem to come from a far-off place." - Beloved
27. "What's the world for you if you can't make it up the way you want it?" - Jazz
28. "A dream is just a nightmare with lipstick." - Love
30. "Me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody. We need some kind of tomorrow." - Beloved
31. "The hopelessness that comes from knowing too little and feeling too much (so brittle, so dry he is in danger of the reverse: feeling nothing and knowing everything.)" - Jazz
32. "I never asked Tolstoy to write for me, a little colored girl in Lorain, Ohio. I never asked [James] Joyce not to mention Catholicism or the world of Dublin. Never. And I don't know why I should be asked to explain your life to you … If I tried to write a universal novel, it would be water." - Conversations with Toni Morrison.
Perhaps the government of Oklahoma needs to return it, need to give it back because they don't seem to be doing so well for their women.
Oklahoma Imprisons Women at the Highest Rate in the United States
Robyn Allen saw her daughter for the first time in two years from across the yard of Oklahoma’s largest women’s prison, the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center.
Because the two were serving time for the same 2013 methamphetamine case, they weren’t supposed to communicate. As Allen’s daughter, Cherise Greer, was being loaded into a van on her way to another prison, the guard turned away and let Cherise say a few words.
“She told me she loved me and said, ‘Mom, please don’t cry,’ ” said Allen, 52, wiping away tears as she recalled the moment.
Robyn Allen, 52, is serving time at the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center in central Oklahoma for trafficking of methamphetamine. Though this was her first felony offense, she was sentenced to 20 years.
When their paths crossed in June, Allen and her daughter were among more than 3,000 women serving time in Oklahoma, which has led the nation in locking up women for the past 25 years. The state imprisons 151 out of every 100,000 women – more than double the national rate.
In partnership with Oklahoma journalism startup The Frontier, Reveal from The Center for Investigative Reporting spent more than a year unearthing the causes. The reporting included obtaining a decade’s worth of state prison data never before analyzed by the state itself.
THE DATA
The most common reason women end up in prison is drug possession.Oklahoma dealt out ever-longer sentences for these women, even as other conservative states reduced drug sentences as part of criminal justice system overhauls.
In Tulsa County, analysis shows that women’s sentences for drug crimes decreased over the past seven years. That’s where an intensive program funded by oil billionaire George Kaiser’s foundation works to provide alternatives to prison for women facing long sentences for drug offenses and other crimes.
The burden of the state’s high incarceration rate falls hardest on women of color. Black women are incarcerated at about twice the rate of their representation in the state’s adult population. For Native American women, the disparity is almost three times their share of the population.
Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin has called the state’s No. 1 ranking for its female incarceration rate “a dubious honor … not something I’m proud of.” (Why is she calling it an "honor" at all?) The Republican recently pushed state lawmakers to approve new justice reform laws with mixed results.
State voters got tired of waiting for lawmakers to act and passed reforms, making possession of drugs for personal use, a misdemeanor.
It’s unclear how deeply the state understands the problem, because it took them almost 2 years to obtain a workable database to analyze. Even that data is imperfect, but it's the most complete of several incomplete data sets provided.
The average sentence for drug crimes differs markedly throughout the state, with more rural counties having the highest female incarceration rates.
Stephens County – a largely rural area where Allen and her daughter were convicted – ranked third per capita in sentencing women to prison.
Allen was given a 20-year sentence after police found 20 grams of methamphetamine, an amount that just meets the legal definition for drug trafficking. Still, her sentence is nearly twice as long as the statewide average for women convicted of trafficking.
Susan Sharp, a retired sociology professor at the University of Oklahoma, is a nationally recognized expert on female incarceration. Her research shows justice is not dispensed evenly across the state.
Poor women in Oklahoma’s rural areas are more likely to draw the wrath of judges and prosecutors. Women who can afford private attorneys are more likely to get shorter sentences for the same crimes, especially if they live in urban areas with specialty courts for drug addiction or mental health issues.
“There are some counties that are extremely harsh, that almost anyone convicted will go to prison,” Sharp said during an interview. “The district attorney is the most powerful player in the courtroom, and if they are trying to build a reputation of being tough on crime, they’re going for the low-hanging fruit.”
‘Don’t shoot her’
Allen said she felt for months that someone was watching her – and that a knock on the door by law enforcement was coming. Instead, it was a kick to the door on a chilly February afternoon in 2013.
Allen was smoking a cigarette in her bedroom when she saw Greer drop to the floor. The glowing red laser sight of a gun focused on Greer’s forehead. Allen thought she was a goner.
“Don’t shoot her. It’s me,” Allen said she told the local law enforcement officers who kicked in the door. “I’m the bad one.”
They found the meth in Allen’s bedroom – most of it stashed in a black purse decorated with gold stars – along with glass pipes and other paraphernalia.
Five adults lived in the stone two-story house – Allen, Greer, two other relatives and a friend – along with Greer’s 4-year-old daughter.
The five were arrested and charged with drug crimes, but only Allen was sent directly to prison as a result. Her daughter, now 32, initially received probation, but now is serving an eight-year sentence after a new drug offense last year.
At the time of her arrest, Allen was out of work and waiting for disability payments for a back injury she suffered five years earlier, while cleaning rooms at a Holiday Inn. The state’s disability waiting list never seemed to budge.
In desperation, Allen traded the Lortab painkillers and Xanax she was prescribed by her doctor for meth, which she used and sold. She was caught with 20 grams of meth, the minimum needed to charge her with drug trafficking instead of possession.
At her 2013 sentencing hearing, Allen told District Judge Joe Enos that she’d been addicted to meth for half her life.
“It has destroyed my whole family. … I take full responsibility,” she told Enos. She asked him to send her to a drug treatment program. She had tried to get into treatment in the past, she told him, but no beds were available.
“I don’t ever want to be around meth anymore,” she said in court. “I seen what it does.”
The prosecutor asked for 30 years in prison, while Allen’s attorney argued for leniency – some time in prison, but also a treatment program.
Enos, known locally for running a stern courtroom, (stern or rigidly sexist?) told Allen: “You are a specific provider and supplier of these drugs to many of the individuals who have succumbed to the terrible effects of methamphetamine.”
The drug killed 167 people in Oklahoma that year. Allen had no established connection to any of them.
In the end, Allen took a “blind plea,” leaving the sentence up to the judge. Enos sentenced her to 20 years for illegal drug trafficking. That sentence is twice the maximum amount of time recommended by the state task force.
Enos and the Stephens County district attorney’s office did not return multiple calls seeking comment. Enos retired from the state judiciary in January 2015 and now serves as a part-time municipal judge.
When Allen first arrived at the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center – a 1,200-bed concrete lockup in central Oklahoma – a guard asked her: “Robyn, who did you make mad?” That’s when she said she found out that two women on the same pod received four and five years for trafficking.
Allen wrote to Enos, asking him to reduce her sentence but she didn’t hear back.
“Poured my heart into that letter,” Allen said, sobbing, “and I didn’t get nothing.”
‘They need help’
Female inmates at the Dr. Eddie Warrior Correctional Center sing and march around the yard as part of their Regimented Treatment Program. It’s a boot camp-style program that lasts up to a year.
Shorter sentences for low-level and first-time drug offenders could make a big difference in the state’s overall female incarceration rate.
Reveal’s analysis focused on sentences for drug possession and distribution – two of the top crimes that land women in Oklahoma’s prisons. Women convicted of drug possession there last year were sentenced to an average of 6.2 years – a 29 percent increase from a decade ago.
The exception is Tulsa County, where judges handed down shorter prison terms to women. Sentences for possession there dropped to 3.3 years in 2016, down by a quarter from 2006. Evidence was also suggesting that Tulsa judges have been splitting sentences and assigning shorter prison terms combined with probation or other types of supervision.
Tulsa County bucked the state trend in the number of women sentenced to prison overall, too. While that number has climbed each year since 2009 in the rest of the state, it fell by more than half in Tulsa County.
The downward trend follows the 2009 launch of Women in Recovery, a Tulsa-based nonprofit program that has received national acclaim. While it’s impossible to attribute the decline to one factor, experts say the program deserves a large share of the credit.
Women charged with certain offenses who face long drug sentences are instead diverted to the program. There they receive intensive oversight, including drug counseling, help with employment and life skills classes.
At a graduation ceremony in February, 16 women filed into a packed, brightly lit room as friends and relatives cheered and clapped.
Women graduate from the program with a job, an apartment and renewed relationships with relatives who may have given up hope. The program claims a three-year recidivism rate of about 4 percent. A new “pay for success” agreement soon will allow Women in Recovery to earn money from the state for each woman who successfully completes the program.
But while the program is praised for its impact, it reaches only about 150 women each year.
The director of the state’s prison system, Joe Allbaugh, bluntly assessed Oklahoma’s failure to rehabilitate women.
“All we’re doing is keeping those beds in cells warm for their kids, because there are no tools being offered anywhere in the system to help these individuals stop their behavior,” he said. “They need help, they don’t need prison.”
Less than one-third of women released from prison that needed treatment for drug or alcohol misuse received it in prison, according to an Oklahoma Department of Corrections survey.
Thousands of prisoners have flowed into costlier private prisons, and more than 1,500 are backed up in county jails, waiting for a prison bed. Oklahoma prisons are drastically understaffed and their staff is drastically underpaid: More than one-third of the state’s correctional officers qualify for food stamps.
State statutes list more than 30 crimes requiring those convicted to serve 85 percent of their sentences, including drug crimes. Oklahoma also has a “three strikes” law that can result in women being sentenced to life in prison without parole for drug crimes.
‘Buckle of the Bible Belt’
The 1,200-bed Mabel Bassett Correctional Center is Oklahoma’s largest women’s prison.
Kris Steele, a former Oklahoma House speaker, had an epiphany in 2009:
Runaway spending on prisons wasn’t translating into a safer state.
“When I began to sort of do my homework,” he said, “I realized that even though we were spending more than we ever had on incarcerating more people than we ever had, our crime rate had continued to increase.”
In 2012, Steele – a Republican leader – was an early advocate for reform, but found himself fighting a losing battle with the current governor, Fallin, and others opposed to reducing penalties for drug offenses.
Steele now runs The Education and Employment Ministry, or TEEM, a non-profit devoted to helping people re-enter the workforce after prison. He continues to advocate for reforms that save prison beds for the worst offenders.
Other red states that tend to be tougher on crime – including Texas, Utah, Kentucky, Mississippi and Georgia – have revised sentencing laws so that most prison beds are reserved for violent and career criminals. Because it costs far less to treat people with drug addiction than it does to lock them up, low-level offenders could be placed in treatment programs and governments could plow the savings back into more diversion programs.
Oklahoma County District Attorney David Prater was not among the measure’s supporters. On any given day, his Oklahoma City office handles the fate of more women than any other DA’s office in the state. The change, he said, robs prosecutors of a crucial bargaining chip. However, figures show the number of women being sent to prison from Prater’s county has increased 35 percent since 2009. (Who's he being paid off by?)
When the Bible Code Overlaps into the Penal Code
On a deeper level, attitudes toward women accused of crimes need to change if the state is to shed its No. 1 incarceration ranking, Prater said. He points to a “buckle of the Bible belt” attitude in which women are sometimes viewed “as property.”
“The No. 1 thing that Oklahomans can do to address this issue is change their attitude about how we view women, and how women should be treated," he said.
The state’s 2010 survey of about 300 female prisoners found that two-thirds reported being victims of domestic violence as an adult. About the same number said they were physically or sexually abused as a child, and more than one-third reported being raped as an adult.
*Sidenote*
The single factor that’s at the core of ALL addictions is trauma (Typically occurring during childhood). The cause of childhood trauma could be:
Neglect
The loss of a parent
Witnessing domestic or other physical violence
Addiction in the family (and witnessed by the child)
Physical abuse
Sexual abuse
Emotional abuse
Parent in jail
Mentally ill parent
Children whose parents are overly stressed and/or aren’t emotionally available
Given that most people who become drug addicts have experienced at least one of these factors as a child, does it sound like harsh prison sentences are the best course of action? Jail does not heal trauma, it adds to it. Women are the crux of the family and the community. Sending mothers to jail for drug crimes (instead of rehab) is not only terrible for children, but it's not cost effective and lacks compassion. [Why is Oklahoma being so unfair? Is it that they want to drown in debt so that resorting to private prisons will be seen as a solution, as opposed for payoff opportunities for DA's, Judges, and other officials responsible for jailing people?]
*End of Sidenote*
Sharp, the female incarceration expert, said some Oklahoma residents have a notion of “proper womanhood” that can warp the process of dispensing justice.
“I think the general population of the state feels that a woman who uses drugs – particularly a woman who has children – violates all the norms in a way that they find unacceptable,” she said, “and they would rather see those children grow up in foster care than to be with a mother who had a drug problem.”
[So they'd rather punish a mother with the disease of addiction, instead of getting her into a program of recovery. her behavior doesn't reflect that of the bible, so she gets 20 years in prison? THIS IS HORRIFYING.]
‘Totally backwards’
Mug shots of Susan Watkins from 2007 (left) and 2015 (right) show the physical toll of her meth addiction. Watkins went through the Dr. Eddie Warrior Correctional Center’s Regimented Treatment Program, where she enrolled in a communications class, worked on obtaining her GED certificate and started learning to read.
By the time she wound up in prison the last time, Susan Watkins had suffered a lifetime of horrific abuse. She said she was raped when she was 5 and forced to watch a relative engage in sexual activity. Watkins, now 52, said that if she and her siblings didn’t watch, they would be punished.
She married at 14 and later became hooked on the rush of meth, which made her teeth fall out. She lost her 23-year-old daughter, who died from a brain aneurysm.
Susan spoke with Reveal in September 2016.
“I done everything to get my drugs. I was homeless. I ate out of trash cans behind McDonald’s,” she said, her voice trembling. “I thought losing my daughter would get me off of it, but I got on it more heavy.”
Watkins’ record illustrates the uneven nature of Oklahoma courts, too. While Robyn Allen’s first felony got her a 20-year sentence and no offer of drug treatment, Watkins has been charged with three felonies and four misdemeanors since 1998, yet has avoided a lengthy prison sentence and was offered treatment multiple times.
Women who end up in Oklahoma’s prisons often lack a basic education. The state had the nation’s deepest cuts to education on a per-student basis. Students in nearly 100 districts attended school four days a week last year because their districts couldn’t afford five-day weeks.
In a recent local news story, veteran Oklahoma defense attorney Rob Nigh blasted the state for locking up so many of its residents at the expense of educating them.
“I know where my clients come from,” Nigh told The Frontier. “They are the ones that don’t graduate. “And instead of investing in teachers and equipment and technology and a higher level of education, we spend our money designing new prisons and figuring contracts with private corrections corporations (Bingo!), which is totally backwards.
A short documentary, produced by the Glassbreaker Films Olivia Merrion and Emily Harger, endeavors to find out why.
“The biggest challenge was telling this story in a way that was not exploitative,” said Merrion. “We were extremely moved with both women opening up to us, and we felt a great responsibility. We made sure our overall message was clear and this was not just a large pry into someone's life—that it had a purpose.”
The judge actually gave the rapist the victim's home address, and ordered his name be added to the birth certificate.
ALL THIS in an attempt to save the state money in welfare benefits.
HOWEVER, the judge had other options! Under a law passed in 2016 called the Child Custody Act, he could have compelled Mirasolo to pay child support without putting the woman he raped as a 12-year old child through this nightmare.
This judge is disgusting and has demonstrated such a misuse of power.
I pray that girl files a civil lawsuit against the judge and the assistant prosecutor.
Neither of them is fit to serve the public, especially the female public.
"Judge" Ross most definitely needs to be removed from the bench. YESTERDAY.
A Michigan man who sexually assaulted a woman when she was 12 and got her pregnant has been granted joint custody of the now-8-year-old boy by a judge.
Christopher Michael Mirasolo, 27, of Brown City, was awarded joint legal custody of the boy by Sanilac County Judge Gregory S. Ross, according to the Detroit News. Ross granted him rights to the child after a DNA test proved he was the boy’s biological father.
The woman is seeking recourse through the Rape Survivor Child Custody Act. A hearing has been scheduled for Oct. 25.
Rebecca Kiessling, an attorney for the boy’s mother, told the News that Ross gave Mirasolo her client’s home address and ordered that his name be added to the boy’s birth certificate without her client’s consent. There was no hearing on the matter prior to the ruling, Kiessling said.
“An assistant prosecutor on this, Eric Scott, told me she had granted her consent, which was a lie,” Kiessling said. “She has never been asked to do this, and certainly never signed anything.”
Kiessling said her client was also told she cannot move more than 100 miles without the prior consent of the court.
WDIV-TV reported that the case was prompted when the boy’s mother applied for state aid. At that time, Scott filed a motion to establish the boy’s paternity and collect child support on his behalf.
Mirasolo’s attorney, Barbara Yockey, said her client had nothing to do with the motion.
“Chris was notified of the paternity matter and an order of filiation was issued last month by the court, saying he had joint legal custody and reasonable visitation privileges,” Yockey told the News. “He never initiated this.”
The now-21-year-old mother, who was not identified by the media because she is a sexual assault victim, said the situation is “crazy.”
“They never explained anything to me,” the woman told the News. “I was receiving about $260 a month in food stamps for me and my son, and health insurance for him. I guess they were trying to see how to get some of the money back.”
She told WDIV-TV that she’s now faced with the possibility that the man who assaulted her will be allowed time with her son.
“He was conceived out of rape, but I don’t look at that,” the woman told the television station. “He’s my child. He’s a part of me, not a part of him. I hope he never has any rights to him at all.”
Yockey said she does not know if her client wishes to have a relationship with the boy.
Mirasolo was accused of forcibly raping the victim and threatening to kill her in September 2008, when she was 12 and he was 18. She, her 13-year-old sister and a friend sneaked out of the house one night to meet a boy and the boy’s older friend.
That friend was Mirasolo, who asked the girls if they wanted to go for a ride, Kiessling told the News.
“They thought they were going to McDonald’s or somewhere,” Kiessling said. “Instead, he tossed their cellphones away, drove to Detroit, where he stole gas from a station, and then drove back to Sanilac County, where he kept them captive for two days in a vacant house near a relative.”
Mirasolo was arrested about a month after the attack. He faced 25 years to life in prison, but was given a plea deal in which he was convicted of attempted third-degree criminal sexual conduct.
Sentenced to a year in jail, Mirasolo served just six months before being released early to care for his sick mother, Kiessling told the News.
“(My client) and her family (were) told first-time sex offenders weren’t sent to prison because people come out worse after they go there,” the attorney told the newspaper.
Mirasolo did serve prison time in a second case from 2010, in which he was convicted of sexually assaulting a second victim between the ages of 13 and 15. Kiessling said he served four years in that case.
Mirasolo is listed as a Tier 3 offender on the Michigan State Police’s sex offender registry.
Serena plays a sport that requires the mental focus of instantaneously letting go of losing points and moving on because there are a lot of excruciating ones no matter how great you are, continual regrouping and re-inventing: dwell on them, you lose confidence; lose confidence and you lose. She is also superbly conditioned, given that a female tennis player may run about three miles in a match.
Serena and her fiance Alexis Ohanian became engaged last December, after first meeting roughly a year and a half earlier, then found out in January that Serena was pregnant. They will be married in the fall after the birth of the baby.
Once upon a time I briefly dated a guy who came highly recommended by my sister's mentor. She sung his heavenly praises because years prior, he'd mentored her son. She regarded him as a "stand-up guy."
Little did she know.
He was an asshole.
And a big one.
Assholes are deftly self-centered. Because of this, Mr. Pillar-of-the-Community consistently sent me unsolicited photos of himself (which I personally thought was weird).
*SideNote* Unless you're asking for an opinion i.e., what do you think of this dress? or you're in a vicarious predicament, don't text anyone photos of yourself. If you want the world to see how beautiful you are, hit the 'Gram. Sending a pic of your lovely smile for no reason comes off as desperate and odd. Now back to the asshole*
After our last exchange in which he took assholing to the limit, I had a light bulb moment. Like a thunderbolt, images of the haircut from all his pics burned into my mind. It was a haircut he did himself. A haircut I didn't like. A haircut I told him I didn't like. A haircut whose likability I couldn't understand.
Why had it taken me so long to see it?
Of COURSE HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.
He had the Asshole Haircut!
The Asshole Haircut is characterized by:
Cut very low on the sides
Usually buzzy or "spiky" on the sides and/or top
Square on the top
Crew Cuts
Men who typically wear this telling coiffure are:
Gun lovers
Homophobic
Misogynistic
Arrogant
Insecure
Argumentative
Aggressive
Needy
Anxious about money
Cocky
Know-it-Alls
Alcohol consumers
Lovers of violent sports
And most prominently,
BULLYS.
Asshole Haircut Professions:
Law-enforcement
Fire Department
Military
Professions of authority (Coaches, Teachers, etc)
Athletes
Ladies, if you see a man with this haircut, run and run fast. His selfishness is not only debilitating, but can be dangerous. His traits do not make for a good boyfriend or husband. Aside from intimacy, the Assholism can spill into other relationships. Who wants to do business with an asshole? Or wants one teaching their children? Who wants an asshole as a person to answer to at work? Who wants an asshole waiter or salesperson assigned to help or serve you?
If at all possible, stay the fuck away from this guy.
No man is going to tell you he's an asshole.
Fortunately, you are now equipped to speak Hairstyle.
Let's look at some examples:
CHET:
Chet from the movie Weird Science, was a major asshole. He was in military school (clue), loved guns (clue), was homophobic (clue), misogynistic (clue) and was just a general bully (clue).
ICEMAN:
Val Kilmer's character "Iceman" from the movie Top Gun, was an asshole. He was antagonistic, arrogant, aggressive and argumentative. He was a MILITARY pilot, and a fighter pilot no less. This can be a very arrogant career for a man considering the salary and prestige that comes with the job. #coldasice
Hank Baileygates
From the 90s movie Me, Myself and Irene, Hank Baileygates was a serious asshole. He was disturbed actually. He had a filthy mouth, drank like a fish, loved to break skulls and loved dirty, dirty sex. He too was a bully. Below he's antagonizing a little boy in a restaurant.
Warden Norton
Warden Norton from the extraordinary movie The Shawshank Redemption, was King Asshole. He was corrupt, hypocritical, a murderer, an extortionist, a liar, a bribe taker and above all, heartless. It doesn't get anymore "asshole" than heartless. He ended up committing suicide in the film rather than face the consequences of his actions. Cowardice can be another asshole trait.
Biff
Biff from the wildly successful movie Back to the Future, was a violent and selfish bully who got what he wanted by intimidating others. He even attempted to rape one of the lead characters (Marty McFly's mother). He was an Ass to the Hole who used his fists to do the talking.
Colonel Jessup
Colonel Jessup from A Few Good Men, was admirably devoted to the Marines way of life. He took offense to being questioned about the manner in which he protected his country. He was an arrogant alpha-male with a huge sense of entitlement. In the end, he admitted to giving the "Code Red" order that cost two Marines their lives and two innocent Marines their careers. He felt the ruining of four lives was simply par for the course.
Frank Fitts
Retired Colonel Frank Fitts was a strict disciplinarian. He'd previously sent his son to military school and briefly committed him to a psychiatric hospital for fear that he might be gay. Frank himself was a closeted gay man who -because of his denial - was morbidly homophobic and routinely punished his son physically. In the end, Frank murdered the male neighbor who rebuffed his kiss.
Guy I briefly dated:
One might argue that the men referenced above are fictitious, but I believe the films' costume designers were aware of the Asshole Haircut. They gave the look to these characters because it was befitting.
To all you lovelies out there, be leery of the Asshole Haircut.
The name is well deserved.
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Misogyny: noun; hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women, or prejudice against women.
Bots such as Apple's Siri, Amazon’s Alexa, Microsoft’s Cortana, and Google’s Google Home all show signs of extreme submissiveness. These docile natures not only reflect the feelings of dominance among men, but also reinforce the concept that women are to be made compliant.
Siri in particular, exhibits extreme signs of submissiveness and does what she is asked to do. She never has objections, she's never busy, and she's never preoccupied doing something for herself. In short, when you call upon Siri, she gives you the equivalent of,
"Yes Master."
By and large, people tend to respond more positively to women’s voices. And the brand managers and product designers tasked with developing voices for their companies are trying to reach the largest number of customers.
The late Stanford communications professor Clifford Nass, coauthored the field’s seminal book, Wired for Speech, wrote that people tend to perceive female voices as helping us solve our problems, so we are more likely to opt for a female interface. In the short term, female voices will likely remain more commonplace, because of cultural bias.
Siri by the way, in Old Norse translates to “a beautiful woman who leads you to victory.”
Siri behaves much like a retrograde male fantasy of the ever-compliant secretary: discreet, understanding, willing to roll with any demand a man might come up with, teasingly accepting of dirty jokes and like the very definition of female subservience, indifferent to the needs of women.
We made this discovery one night while playing with Siri’s established willingness to look up prostitutes for a man in need. When we said to Siri, “I need a blow job,” she produced “nine escorts fairly close to you”. We got the same results when we said, “I’m horny” even with a very female voice. And if you should you need erection drugs to help you through your escort encounter, Siri is super helpful. She produced twenty nearby drugstores where Viagra could be purchased, though how -- without a prescription -- is hard to imagine. We tried mouth-based words -- such as “lick” “eat” and even an alternate name for "cat" and for each one, Siri was confused and kept coming up with a name of a male friend in my contacts. Of course, one could argue that Siri knows something about him that I don’t, but that's another story.
More troubling, was Siri’s inability to generate decent results related to women’s reproductive health. When asked where to find birth control, she only came up with a clinic nearly four miles away that happened to have the words “birth control” in the name. She didn't name any of the helpful drugstores that stock condoms or birth control options.
The results when asked for abortion info were even worse. Though Planned Parenthood performs abortions (and there was one in my neighborhood), Siri claimed it had no knowledge of any abortion clinics in the area. Other women running similar trials have had the same problem if not worse. In some cases, Siri suggested crisis pregnancy centers when you mention the word “abortion." This was especially suspect seeing as how CPCs don’t provide abortions. They're established solely to lure unsuspecting women and bully them out of the choice to abort.
In response to complaints about this, Apple spokeswoman Natalie Kerris explained, “These are not intentional omissions meant to offend anyone.” We don't feel that the programmers behind Siri are out to get women. The issue is that the very real and frequent concerns of women simply didn’t rise to the level of priority for these programmers. Facts such as exponentially more women will seek abortion in their lives than men will seek prostitutes, and more women use contraception than men use Viagra. With that being said, programmers were still more concerned with making sure the word “horny” puts you in contact with an illegal prostitute, than with the word “abortion” putting you in contact with a place that could legally (and safely) perform them.
Siri is an example of how hearing a woman's voice was important, but the actual needs of women were not. Programmers clearly imagined a straight male user as their ideal and neglected to remember nearly half of iPhone users are women. That a tech company that’s the standard for progressive, innovative,and user-friendly technology couldn’t bother to care about the concerns of half the human race speaks to a sexism that’s so interwoven into the fabric of our society, it’s nearly invisible.
It’s a sexism that only reveals itself in the absurd.
Kinda like when you’re asking a phone what it would take for you to get a little lovin around here.
What's your opinion? Is this a reach or is this form of sexism valid?
Is this even sexism?
Post your thoughts in the comments, we'd love to hear from you.
