BEWARE: The Haircut That Tells You He's an Asshole

Once upon a time I briefly dated a guy who came highly recommended by my sister's mentor. She sung his heavenly praises because years prior, he'd mentored her son. She regarded him as a "stand-up guy."

Little did she know.

He was an asshole.
And a big one.

Assholes are deftly self-centered. Because of this, Mr. Pillar-of-the-Community consistently sent me unsolicited photos of himself (which I personally thought was weird). 

*SideNote* Unless you're asking for an opinion i.e., what do you think of this dress? or you're in a vicarious predicament, don't text anyone photos of yourself. If you want the world to see how beautiful you are, hit the 'Gram. Sending a pic of your lovely smile for no reason comes off as desperate and odd. Now back to the asshole*

After our last exchange in which he took assholing to the limit, I had a light bulb moment. Like a thunderbolt, images of the haircut from all his pics burned into my mind. It was a haircut he did himself. A haircut I didn't like. A haircut I told him I didn't like. A haircut whose likability I couldn't understand. 

Why had it taken me so long to see it?

Of COURSE HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.

He had the Asshole Haircut!

The Asshole Haircut is characterized by:

• Cut very low on the sides
• Usually buzzy or "spiky" on the sides and/or top
• Square on the top 
• Crew Cuts

Men who typically wear this telling coiffure are:

Gun lovers

Homophobic

Misogynistic

Arrogant

Insecure
Argumentative

Aggressive

Needy

Anxious about money

Cocky

Know-it-Alls

Alcohol consumers
Lovers of violent sports

And most prominently,

BULLYS.

Asshole Haircut Professions:

Law-enforcement

Fire Department

Military 

Professions of authority (Coaches, Teachers, etc)

Athletes

Ladies, if you see a man with this haircut, run and run fast. His selfishness is not only debilitating, but can be dangerous. His traits do not make for a good boyfriend or husband. Aside from intimacy, the Assholism can spill into other relationships. Who wants to do business with an asshole? Or wants one teaching their children? Who wants an asshole as a person to answer to at work? Who wants an asshole waiter or salesperson assigned to help or serve you?

If at all possible, stay the fuck away from this guy. 

No man is going to tell you he's an asshole.
Fortunately, you are now equipped to speak Hairstyle. 

Let's look at some examples:

CHET:

Chet from the movie Weird Science, was a major asshole. He was in military school (clue), loved guns (clue), was homophobic (clue), misogynistic (clue) and was just a general bully (clue).

ICEMAN: 

Val Kilmer's character "Iceman" from the movie Top Gun, was an asshole. He was antagonistic, arrogant, aggressive and argumentative. He was a MILITARY pilot, and a fighter pilot no less. This can be a very arrogant career for a man considering the salary and prestige that comes with the job. #coldasice

Hank Baileygates

From the 90s movie Me, Myself and Irene, Hank Baileygates was a serious asshole. He was disturbed actually. He had a filthy mouth, drank like a fish, loved to break skulls and loved dirty, dirty sex. He too was a bully. Below he's antagonizing a little boy in a restaurant. 

Warden Norton

Warden Norton from the extraordinary movie The Shawshank Redemption, was King Asshole. He was corrupt, hypocritical, a murderer, an extortionist, a liar, a bribe taker and above all, heartless. It doesn't get anymore "asshole" than heartless. He ended up committing suicide in the film rather than face the consequences of his actions. Cowardice can be another asshole trait.

Biff

Biff from the wildly successful movie Back to the Future, was a violent and selfish bully who got what he wanted by intimidating others. He even attempted to rape one of the lead characters (Marty McFly's mother). He was an Ass to the Hole who used his fists to do the talking.

Colonel Jessup 

Colonel Jessup from A Few Good Men, was admirably devoted to the Marines way of life. He took offense to being questioned about the manner in which he protected his country. He was an arrogant alpha-male with a huge sense of entitlement. In the end, he admitted to giving the "Code Red" order that cost two Marines their lives and two innocent Marines their careers. He felt the ruining of four lives was simply par for the course.

Frank Fitts 

Retired Colonel Frank Fitts was a strict disciplinarian. He'd previously sent his son to military school and briefly committed him to a psychiatric hospital for fear that he might be gay. Frank himself was a closeted gay man who -because of his denial - was morbidly homophobic and routinely punished his son physically. In the end, Frank murdered the male neighbor who rebuffed his kiss.  

Guy I briefly dated: 

One might argue that the men referenced above are fictitious, but I believe the films' costume designers were aware of the Asshole Haircut. They gave the look to these characters because it was befitting. 

To all you lovelies out there, be leery of the Asshole Haircut.

The name is well deserved.

If you like this post, please share. Tell us what you think in the comments below, we love hearing from you!

-WTS.

Well, some guys will tell you.. LOL. 

The Killer Lurking in the Shower

A couple of years ago, a girlfriend and I were comparing our 'just got home' routines. We were talking about all the places we check for the "killer" we imagined could've broken into our homes. I hadn't realized that other women shared my 'killer-in-the-shower' fear. She was surprised to learn that my routine didn't involve checking under my bed. 

I have no need to. 

If there was a killer hiding in my home, he'd have to be one hell of a contortionist to fit under my bed because there's simply no room under there (thank God!)  What I truly took away from our conversation, was though we're independent, courageous, competent and strong,

Many women-on some level or other- still fear a Bogeyman. A deranged stranger out to murder us.

Crime expert Gavin de Becker said in his book "The Gift of Fear," that one of the biggest differences between men and women is in fact, what we fear.

Men fear rejection.

Women fear being murdered. 

I know when I go out with a new guy, I give full disclosure to my friends and/or family of ALL his details. Name, number, address (if I have it), where we're going, what time, where I met him, where he works, license plate number, the whole shebang. This may seem excessive but like the man said,

Women fear being murdered.

It's not uncommon for most women to perform "killer checks" when they get home. An inspection specifically searching for clues or evidence that an intruder has either been in your car, house or worse,

Is still waiting for you there.

One of my biggest fears, is that the killer is hiding in my shower. 

Fully dressed, 

Sharp blade clutched in hand, 

Crouching behind the shower curtain,

Not making a sound,

Waiting for just the right moment to pounce, 

Stabbing me into a bloody frenzy, 

Ignoring my screams, 

Laughing wickedly,

Becoming ever excited by my torture!

I mean, Michael Jackson even sang about it.

Yeah, I have a vivid imagination, but the 'killer-hiding-in-the-shower' fear is real for many of womankind. Knowing this, I was taken aback by the prank version of this fear realized.

Killer in the shower, shower curtains. 

Hmm..

Surprisingly, this gag item actually helped assuage my fear. Once I saw the killer's outline on the shower curtain, my paranoia diminished quite a bit. My shoulders relaxed. My jaw unclenched. I let out a laugh. In that moment I grasped how unlikely it is that a murderer will be waiting to bring me to a violent death in my bathroom. 

I felt relieved.

Thank you gag gift.

The shower curtain I saw was somewhat convincing, but not others.

Whomever decided to make these shower curtains was either aware of womens' greatest fears or has a sick sense of humor.

Maybe we should stab them to death?

In any event, even with implied ghastliness, I thought some of these curtains were pretty funny.

What I liked most was the killer is fake! No one "behind" these curtains can hurt me or anyone else.

This helped reduce my fear..

But didn't eliminate it. Such is life I suppose.

Listed below are various curtains whose foolability factor is ranked 1-10. 1= Yawn, 10=Blood curdling scream of fear. 

Let me know if you agree with the rankings in the comments. Here we go..

WTS.

This might cause alarm at first glance, but I wouldn't fear a murderer. I would wonder how these hands came to be so bloody and how the fuck did they get in my bathroom?

Foolability Factor: 1

Is this guy coming up from out of the ground? Where's the rest of his body? Looks like he was cut off.. har har (lame pun). 

That knife looks awful sharp though. It might scare me at first glance.

Foolability Factor: 3

At first glance, I would probably clutch my pearls. Then I would wonder if he always stands around with his arm in the air, knife wielded? No one's in the shower yet. And suppose I'm not facing his direction?

 Foolability Factor: 4.5

The hands are too big.. It looks like either E.T., or a dwarf sized basketball player is in there. Could also be an alien or a big-handed child, but I wouldn't suspect a killer.

Foolability Factor: 4

Same here. Hands are too big, plus, who can write "HELP ME" perfectly while writing backwards?

Foolability Factor: 2

If I was visiting someones house and saw this when I walked in their bathroom, I would probably scream. The image on this curtain is seriously deranged. It's very 'Stephen King's "IT."

Foolability Factor: 8

He looks like he's kneeling. 

This one might scare me. The blood looks a bit too red though.

Foolability Factor: 6

This one looks like they're lined up for a Black Friday sale. It also reminds me of those beings that came out of the ground when one of the bad guys died in "Ghost."

The Crime Scene 

And of course, after he slices you to death, there will be a crime scene, no?

They got us covered.

Crime scene shower curtains.

Crime scene bath mats.

The crime scene towels

Crime scene toilet paper

What will they think of next?

Do you have a fear of a killer?

Leave your answers in the comments!

Till next time,

The Best Twitter #cosbymemes

Oh Bill Cosby. Bill Bill Bill. What were you thinking? Your challenge for Twitter followers to meme you is a prime example of the aloofness of Hollywood icons. You believe the hype. The constant adoration. The bright-eyed fans, beaming upon finally meeting their idol. The starstruck celebrity, greeting one of their greatest career influences in person. All of the praise, worship and fanfare can make a person truly believe they're the Hollywood god people make them out to be. With all of the special treatment and obese bank accounts, self-absorbed celebs forget about (and can't escape) one teensy-weensy aspect of celebrity life:

TWITTER.

The honest, unrelenting and un-paid off folks of Twitter can pop any ego. They can bring any head in the clouds down to earth rather quickly, and most important, without the need of any PR translator, Twitter can let the world know where any celebrity stands in 140 characters or less.

Yes folks.

Twitter can definitely be a feeling-hurter.

No directors. No special effects. No scripts. Simply pure, unadulterated opinions of what the 'little guy' feels about you. Bill should've known better. One could suppose that because Hollywood has basically remained mum on the rape topic, he wasn't aware of true public opinion. He was under the assumption that everyone had swept his rape allegations under the rug. Nope! Hollywood, a town in which he's a legend in the "untouchable" category, under unspoken instruction has said nothing about his 14+ rape allegations. If he didn't know before, Mr. Cosby should be well aware that Twitter ain't Hollywood. The allegiance paid to pudding pop titans is not guaranteed in Twitville. He thought he was going to get memes of good ole' fashioned family fun.

He couldn't have been more wrong. The meme generator was a terrible move.

Dems' the breaks Bill. That's what you get for being a rapist.

Here are some of the funniest memes from Twitter (that weren't immediately pulled and deleted).:

It's amazing how a man who created and produced a television show that had so much integrity, could secretly be such a disgusting, victimizing creep.

Barbara Bowman was one of his alleged victims, claiming Cosby raped her when she was a 17 year old starving artist. Her story is here: Barbara's Story

There are also court documents filed by past victims. Cosby's prior allegations

14 allegations over 20 years. Women who've never met, living in different states. Some paid off, some not. The one thing they have in common are their stories. All accounts of rape were almost identical. Are you proud of yourself "Dr." Cosby?

Neither are we. Karma's real eh?  Shame on you.

#noloveforrapists

WTS.

The Top 5 Reasons Men Kill Their Wives

Taking that "Till death do us part" line a bit seriously, eh fellas?..


Why would a man choose to kill his wife? To plot, plan, entertain the idea. Enlist abettors. Purchase the necessary supplies. Then execute?

These murders usually involve bizarre circumstances, and are often sensationalized by the media. They receive heavy coverage by news, magazines, talk shows and of course, social media. In the last 20 years "intimate killings" comprised 63.7% of all homicides.

So why has murder become a go-to for so many men?

The answer is simple.

These murdering men bend their minds to believe murder is less complicated and of course..

That they can get away with it.

In the 1950's perhaps, but with today's forensics?

Not so likely.

A few years ago, Lisa Hartwick was riding in an elevator in Boston when she overheard a conversation between two men. One of the men was going through a divorce, and he was venting to his friend about lawyers and child support payments. At that point, Hartwick recalls, the man suggested, within earshot of everyone, that maybe he should just kill his wife, that it would be cheaper and easier that way. Hartwick, the director of the Center for Violence Prevention and Recovery at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, was stunned. “I really didn’t know what to say,” she recalls. “Luckily, his friend said to him, ‘That’s a lot of money. I understand. I’m going through it myself. But you’ve got kids.”

Question: Can you talk about whether spousal homicide is a growing epidemic?

Gavin de Becker: Is spousal homicide increasing? It is not, however the reality is more disturbing than an increase. Spousal homicide has remained a constant in our lives, such that every four hours at least one woman is killed in America by a husband or boyfriend. That uninterrupted and sad statistic can be changed, because spousal homicide is the single most preventable serious crime in America, largely owing to that fact that it 

A) Always occurs after many warning signs, 

B) After several people are aware of the risk.

One of the most notorious cases of spousal homicide was the 1994 trial of O.J. Simpson, charged with the murder of his wife Nicole Brown Simpson. People were glued to the televised trial for weeks, and still speak of it almost 20 years later. Nicole left OJ with the intent of divorce and the rest is history.

75% of domestic homicides occur just after or during a wife's leaving of her husband. In most of the cases, the wife has a restraining order at the time of the murder.

Gavin De Becker: "Many homicides have occurred at the courthouse where women were seeking protection orders, or just prior to the hearings. Why? Because the murderers were allergic to rejection. They found it hard enough in private but intolerable in public. For men like this, rejection is a threat to identity, the persona, to the entire self, and in this sense their crimes could be called murder in defense of the self."

Joseph Romano, a Quincy iron-worker, killed and dismembered his wife, Katherine, in September 1998 with a power saw he had borrowed from a neighbor. He chose this, rather than leave, as his wife had apparently asked him to do.

About 10 years ago, David Adams, a licensed Psychologist, began visiting Massachusetts prisons to meet men who had killed the women they once loved. He wanted to ask that question "Why?" and discovered that their motivations fell into five categories: 

1) Jealousy; 

2) Drugs; 

3) Career criminals; 

4) Suicidal or depressed; 

5) MATERIALLY MOTIVATED.


Men in the Materially Motivated category lack emotional involvement, remorse, and a conscience. “They don’t get jealous, because they don’t care much about women,” says Adams, “They care more about the assets, and are preoccupied with money.."

In July 2000, Dr. Richard Sharpe, a rich, cross-dressing dermatologist in Gloucester, shot and killed his wife, Karen, to keep her hands off $5 million in assets.

The men involved typically, Adams says, are keeping secrets – secrets they will do almost anything to protect.

The case of Dr. Dirk Greineder – a renowned Wellesley allergist who slit the throat of his wife, Mabel, to protect his secret sex life with prostitutes.

Richard Grundy, the chief of the Massachusetts attorney general’s office, persuaded jurors that Greineder not only killed his wife to protect his secret life with prostitutes but also planned the murder for months. Greineder’s goal: Make it look like a serial killer did it. “And to do that particularly,” Grundy said, “what he had to do was slit the throat, right down to the neck bone, of the woman who brought him three children.”

These murdering men usually live in suburban homes, separated from others by their lawns and property- where neighbors can’t easily overhear fights (and hence are inevitably surprised when the wives turn up dead).They're not hardened criminals, but rather domesticated suburb dwellers. When the cops show up after these same wives turn up dead, the neighbors are shocked. Not here, they say. Not this guy. He wouldn’t choose murder over divorce, the risk of prison time over child support payments. He wouldn’t do this.

On October 23, 1989, Charles Stuart, who worked at a furrier on Newbury Street, shot his pregnant wife, Carol, in the head and then apparently shot himself as well. Stuart lived – just as he had designed it, while his wife and unborn child died – and went on to tell a sensational story about a black man who had robbed the white Reading couple. What Stuart really wanted, authorities later determined, was to open a restaurant with the money he’d get from his wife’s life insurance policy. When his wife became pregnant, that was taking him farther away from his dream. Once it was clear in January 1990 that he wasn’t going to get away with it, Stuart made a second decision: He jumped off a bridge committing suicide.

Of course, lots of men aren’t living their dreams. There are plenty who have jobs they hate but wives they love, so who exactly are the Charles Stuarts of the world?

“They’re narcissists,” says retired FBI profiler Candice De- Long. “Life is all about them.” Stuart, was said to show more joy over a great haircut than over the impending birth of his child.

“For narcissists, it’s not just that they love themselves,” DeLong says, “but it’s how others see them. Their image to others, to the world, is what’s really important. Most often, it’s a damning secret. Husbands and wives share things. They know more about each other than perhaps anyone else. And in a divorce, especially a nasty one, issues once locked away can go public in a hurry, shattering overnight reputations that took decades to build.

This is the one of the biggest problems with men equating Net Worth with Self Worth. Mens' self-esteems are taught to be performance based. The acquisition of material possessions and status. One of the good many things about being a woman, is our self-esteem is not based on the same factors. It's ok for a woman not to be rich..

As long as she's pretty. (That's another entry though).

Whatever happened to "cheaper to keep her?" Murdering a spouse is costly. Not just the financial ruin one could face, but what about emotional and karmic debts?

Don't get a gun, get a really good lawyer.

Women want to live fairie tales lives too. If we don't get them, by no means do we have the right to slit our man's throat. You live, you adjust. If you're still unhappy, you LEAVE, and I'm not referring to leaving Earth. Ladies beware:

Does your husband have lots of life insurance on you?
Is he eyeing boats or expensive cars?
Is he researching topics like "Tropical Retirement Locales" and he's only in his 30s or 40s?

If you can say yes to two or more of those questions and he's NOT independently wealthy..
Don't walk.

RUN.

And Ladies..

Don't threaten to tell his secrets when you break up. He's a cross dresser who wears your panties and lipstick, and uses your basement as his 'HappyPlace' for dress-up? How lovely! Offer him a few of your dresses.

THEN get divorced. You can tell his secrets in your book.

Don't ask for money. Ever. Pretend money is the last thing you care about. Tell him you're volunteered with Nicaraguan animal charities, and you've taken a vow of poverty. Giving you money would be an insult to God now wouldn't it?

Move far away, THEN get divorced. Let your greedy lawyer take half of his money while you hide in Central America.

Not sure if he's truly happy about your pregnancy? Tell him it's not your baby. You're merely acting as a surrogate for Beyonce's next child. The surrogate she used before is unavailable and Blue needs a sister.

Then have your baby in a town he's never heard of.

Yeah you heard right.

Seriously ladies. If your husband or boyfriend is extremely verbally abusive and/or hits you..

 He can also kill you. 

Get out of any unsafe relationship because women DO die. 

Threats are carried out, and some men would rather kill you than divorce you.

Keep your eyes and ears open and ALWAYS trust your gut. If there's no love in your relationship get out, because LOVE is for living..

Not murder.

WTS.

Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
MOSAIC Threat Assessment  - Gavin de Becker's tool to help determine if you're in danger or could be
Why Do They Kill? Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners, by David Adams