10 Ways To Take Your Sex Toys on a Plane.. and NOT Get Embarrased

I recently went on a trip to Atlanta. I was going for a week, and no-boyfriend-haver that I am, wanted to take my pleasure stick with me.

Then I thought about the TSA, x-ray conveyor belts, potential asshole TSA agents, shocked on-lookers, and decided to leave my plastic love machine at home.

And let me tell ya, it was missed.

Fired up, I wondered why I should have to be without some battery operated lovin because of what I feared the TSA would do. Why should I worry about looky-loos staring, laughing, gasping at my inanimate love slave?

NO! I wasn't going to let that fly anymore. (Pun intended).

Surely there was a way I could carry it on so I could carry on at my hotel.

In typical ME fashion, I got to researchin'. I found some practical and non-embarrassing actions to take when one wants to bring aboard sex toys without bringing on embarrassment.


1) Remove the Batteries:  

Rule numero UNO! A bag that's buzzing will definitely be opened and searched by security, so take the batteries out before you pack it. This voids any chance of your toy going off en route. I had a friend who vibrators you had to plug in to a socket but then again, my friend was in the big leagues. She was a vibrator All-Star. I didn't know if she was trying to have a good time or simulate being in labor, but I digress.

2) Pack Your Item In A See-Through Plastic Bag

In the event that your baggage gets searched, you don’t want a customs officer handling your intimate buddy with any nasty customs officered hands, so pack your toy in a clear plastic bag. – They x-ray machine can see what’s inside and it’s a hygienic storage option when you’re on-the-go. This leads us to # 3.

3) Attach a Note

Now that you've packed your orgasmer in a plastic bag, you could take it a step further by including a note. You can also use a photo its original packaging in case there's any mistaken identity. The disco-stick can speak for itself when the (big) letters can be read through the x-ray machine. Nothing says vibrator, quite like a note that says "VIBRATOR." Or if you want to keep it classy, use the term "personal massager." 

You won't be fooling anyone though..heh heh.

4) Keep It Small

This might be a tall order for some, but remember: We're trying to avoid embarrassment here. When it comes to restrictions on items for air travel, the TSA states that “tools” with a length of 7 inches are suitable for carry-on luggage. This means that petite, discreet massagers are the safest bets. 

The plug-in, baby head sized gear my friend had might have to wait for a road trip. Maybe you'll like one of these: Discreet Sex Toys for Travel 

5) Be Honest 

If an airport security agent asks you what’s in your bag, or has you explain an item on the x-ray display; tell it to them the truth. This will save you being pulled aside for further questioning and could help avoid any unnecessary rummaging through your bag. Although traveling with sex toys is completely legal in the US, you may still encounter TSA officials whose conduct toward you may be rude or unprofessional. If this happens at a security screening area, request to speak with a supervisor. You can submit a formal complaint or email the TSA's Contact Center at TSA-ContactCenter@dhs.gov.

If you believe you've been the target of discriminatory conduct you can file a complaint at Don't Fuck With Me.

6) Bring a Toy That Doesn't Look Like A Sex Toy

Bringing a toy that doesn’t look like a sex toy is not to trick the TSA. It's ultimately the electronics inside the toy that ping their radars so they'll know. A disguised toy is good because it won’t call attention from nosey nearby travelers. The last thing you need is your ordeal recorded on someones phone. Facebook, Youtube, Worldstar.. I've never met anyone who wanted to be famous because they had a dildo in their bag. One way to prevent the threat of this is #7.

7) Ask To Be Screened In Private

This is a great option if you're truly apprehensive about having having your device taken out in public. Getting through security may take a bit longer, but the risk of embarrassment in front of other travelers is decreased drastically if not eliminated completely.

8) Don't Pack it in Your Carry On

If you have a bag you're checking, pack it there. And again, take out the batteries! If you think taking out a buzzing vibrator at the security check point is bad, imagine being pulled off a plane because they think your buzzing bag may be a bomb. It sounds extreme but it could happen.

9) Leave it Home

The only way to be 100% sure that you won't be stopped or embarrassed by carrying a personal toy aboard your flight is to leave it at home. You can always buy an inexpensive vibrating apparatus at any local drug store, usually in the condom section. I know it may not be the trusty companion you're used to, but they can do the trick. Being away from home AND going through TSA?

Not the best time to be a dildo-snob, yes?

10) Know if Sex-Toys Are Allowed at Your Destination 

Believe it or not, sex toys aren’t accepted in every place on the globe. Some countries and regions have bans on your little buzzing buddy, like India, the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia — even some US States. If you’re not sure if your destination allows sex toys, do your research. 'Better safe than sorry' is just a Google search away, and can save you a whole lot of trouble.

List of Countries That Don't Allow Sex-Toys

Be especially careful if you're a man travelling with these toys. Being gay is illegal in many parts of the world. Toys are supposed to provide fun, not jail time, and certainly not a beat down from homophobic law enforcement. If you're not a gay man, international officials may think you are by having these items so again, be cautious.

I hope this list helps you feel more at ease taking your good time tools with you. Traveling with your toys can be fuss-free, and once you arrive at your destination, can make it easier to relax and enjoy being in a new place.

Travel safe.
Travel smart.

WTS.

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For Shits and Giggles

You can get HIV from THAT??

A stylist offered me an earring to go with my outfit.

I asked, "Is this your earring?" to which they replied, "Yes."

I had personal knowledge that this person was HIV positive. I wasn't about to risk my life for an earring.

I didn't say anything, and just left the earring on the table. I looked at them like, "Ummkay.."

Maybe they didn't know what the problem was?

I suppose this speaks to my
A) Being a conspiracy theorist and,
B) Being a conspiracy theorist and not trusting "facts" given to the public about what's safe and what isn't.

I admit, I don't believe a lot of what's said about HIV, specifically, the ways we're told we CANNOT contract it. I think many truths are omitted because if  fully aware of the ALL the ways we could get it, we'd  never leave the house. As a confirmed conspiracy theorist I rarely ever think a cigar is just a cigar.

The name of the game is Safety, and you can't always rely on the Department of Health to provide it. I always say do your own homework and protect yourself. Don't be surprised if the CDC comes out with a "We Didn't Know That Then" campaign down the road like they did with cancer from cigarettes. And the dangers of microwaves. And blood transfusions. And mercury. And asbestos. And you get the picture.

Compiled are a few ways people can contract the virus but may not consider. We are often such a trusting society, certain things never enter our minds. Of course, the ways mentioned are contingent upon someone already having HIV, but that doesn't mean they don't count. I think most can agree that when it comes to the business of HIV, most people will absolutely not tell you if they have it. In certain instances and for the sake of protection, it might be safer to simply pretend they do.


Ways We Don't Think About Getting HIV:

Your Doctor, Nurse or Dental Professional

When was the last time you asked your doctor or dentist their HIV status? Doctors, nurses nor dentists are required to disclose their HIV status or any other health issues. The American Medical Association and the American Dental Association strongly urge their members NOT to engage in activities that carry risk of HIV transmission, however, it's  suggested not required. Look for any cuts, scratches, sores, lesions or skin rashes on any medical professional that touches you. These are people that come into contact with the bodily fluids, disorders, god-knows-what of other people everyday. Don't just assume that because they're a doctor they're disease free. You have no idea what conditions these medical professionals have and by law, they don't have to tell you.

Earrings

True, HIV doesn't live outside the body for long, but if someone shares earrings with you (or other piercings) you should sterilize them before using them. This includes earrings, nose rings, navel rings, Marilyn moles, etc., just bought from a store. You can't be sure whom, if anyone, tried them on before you. Don't chance it! Sterilizing will eliminate not only HIV but other skin infections. If there's blood on the earring or any type of "bodily fluid" that you can't see, you could be taking a risk. Sterilize with rubbing alcohol, and be able to sleep at night :)

Giving Blood

 

 

Disposable needles are supposed to be used just once and that's all. The key words are SUPPOSED TO. Make sure you see with your own eyes that the needle placed in your arm is brand new and sterile. When outside of the US or other western countries, it's important to remember not all developing countries have access to sterile needles. Watch it!

  Eyeliner

Remember, the lining of your lower eyelid is moist, and is kept moist by BODILY FLUID. If
someone uses their eyeliner, then passes it to you, some of that fluid could mingle with your fluid and the next thing you know..

Yep.

Is looking like Cleopatra worth it? Sharing eye make-up is also an excellent way of getting conjunctivitis (pink eye) so basically, if you don't have your own, you might wanna SKIP IT. 

 Getting a Tattoo

Again with the needles. Make sure whomever is giving you the tattoo is using sterilized equipment and a fresh needle. Express your art, don't die from it.

Crack Pipes

Some public health agencies have reported that it might be possible to contract HIV by sharing a crack pipe. The theory is that smoking crack with a homemade crack pipe can cause burns or sores on the lips, which can lead to transmission of diseases between crack users who have burns or sores. Herpes and hepatitis are the major concerns, but it's been theorized that HIV might be transmitted this way as well.

Surgery

Going to get cheap plastic surgery in a burgeoning third-world country? You might get you more than you bargained for. Do your research on the facility and medical staff. Getting a butt lift for a third of the price might sound ideal, but not if you get something you can't get rid of.

Getting Bit

If someone with HIV bites you and breaks the skin.. well.. you might wanna start doing some of the things on your bucket list. You can also try PEP if you are exposed to HIV to help reduce the risk. Gotta act fast though.

Using Someone's Razor

Unfortunately, the razor you're borrowing isn't gonna say, "I cut the last person that used me.." You may not be able to see exactly what's on that razor. Blood, fluids, skin, whatever. Don't use any one's razor but your own. Your health is worth more than getting rid of a little stubble!

Sports

Boxing, Kickboxing, Cage Fighting, and other bloody martial art forms are currently the only sports which HIV positive people are outwardly discouraged from engaging. Due to the large amounts of cuts, nicks and blood, the risks of contracting a disease are highly increased. They say you can't get HIV through sweat but be careful none-the-less.

 From your Barber

If he/she cut or nicked your neck or head, you could be exposed. If they nicked the person before you and didn't thoroughly sanitize their tools, you could be at risk. If they themselves have any cuts or nicks that are open and/or bleed, pay attention. Don't be so blindly trusting. Do you know the HIV status of your barber? Be sure to check the tools being used on you. Make sure they've been properly sanitized.   

Cleaning Bloodstains from Floors and Clothes

Cleaning blood fresh or dried should ALWAYS be done with latex gloves. The HIV virus does not remain viable outside the body for very long. Detergent and bleach will easily destroy HIV, but you CAN get it if you come into direct contact with it.These socks are so "Dexter", no?

Toothbrushes

First off, I think using someone else's toothbrush is disgusting, but for those who don't I have another "D" word for you: DEADLY. Gums bleed ALL THE TIME. You never know what is IN or ON the bristles of the toothbrush you're borrowing. Toothbrushes can be what, $0.99?? Just buy a new toothbrush and call it a day. 

Condoms 

All condoms are not created equal. Lambskins feel more "realistic", but they do not protect against HIV. Pregnancy yes. HIV no. Stick to latex. 

Or marry her and use nothing. :)

 

I'll admit, first off, I'm a germaphobe, so if you even cough in my direction expect a full spraying of Lysol your way. Second, I admit the above scenarios are extreme and probably highly unlikely, but still, it never hurts to arm yourself with a little extra knowledge. Sometimes it's better to be paranoid than sorry..