Incredibly Brilliant Wedding Ideas

I'm not sure if I'll ever get married, but if I do, I will have to employ some of these ideas. I never understood why people spend so much money on weddings. It lasts ONE DAY. Why spend the next few years paying it off? You can use the six-figures you'd pay for a complete wedding ceremony to purchase a home. I like extravagant things, but they have to make sense. An expensive pair of shoes yes. However, I will have and wear those shoes for years to come. For any practical budgetnistas like myself, these ideas not only make sense but are totally awesome. No bridezillas here.

David Tuttura eat your heart out.

23 Unconventional But Awesome Wedding Ideas
You gotta keep those unsuspecting guests on their toes. Have the wedding everyone keeps talking about, without the debt.

1. A guest box instead of a guest book, where guests can record a message on video.

buzzycraftery.com

The technology is now. And besides, according to the experts, handwriting will be phased out within 20 years anyway.

2. A ring bearer who’s also a high-security agent.



3. An adorned reception bathroom.

The bathroom: underrated and overlooked. Meanwhile, your attention to detail will NOT go underrated and overlooked.

4. Overalls in lieu of a wedding dress.

5. DIY watercooler bar.

thehunt.com

Save $$ on the lack of bartender.

6. Jenga guestbook.

Instead of a guestbook, have your guests write on Jenga pieces. Every time you play Jenga, you’ll be reminded of all the well wishes.

7. Your guests as videographer.

Instead of hiring a videographer, have your guests pass around flip cams and get it edited into a final video by Wedit.

8. Mimosa bar for a morning or brunch reception.

Pure delight.

9. Pamphlets making fun of your own wedding.

Derek and Alexa are probably two pretty cool people.

10. A special coloring book just for the kids.

11. Tubing as a pre-wedding event.

12. “Awkward family photo” wedding photo.

awkwardfamilyphotos.com


13. An apple orchard wedding.

intimateweddings.com




They usually let you pick as many apples as you need as part of the decor.

14. Polaroid photo booth.

stylemepretty.com

15. Ring bearer’s box instead of a pillow.

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16. A Polaroid guestbook.

joeykennedyphotography.com

Instead of a traditional guestbook, make it a photo album. Guests can take photos of themselves and scrawl their messages onto the Polaroids.

17. DIY confetti bar.

bklynbrideonline.com

A confetti bar presents a very strong rival to the actual bar.

18. Audience cue cards during the ceremony.

19. An ice cream truck.

stylemepretty.com

20. A cake buffet.

GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

21. A gold sequined arrow that shows guests where to go.

100layercake.com

22. For an outdoor wedding, instead of having tables, set up picnic blankets.

fresnoweddings.net

23. For dessert, make a 10-foot-long banana split.

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CHANGE DAMMIT

7 Simple Ways to Connect to your Divine Feminine

Make no mistake, the "Divine Feminine" is in no way a "women only" concept. We all have masculine and feminine energy within us.

In yoga these energies are known as Shiva and Shakti, Yin and Yang, Ida and Pingala. The left side of the body relates to the feminine and the right side, the masculine.

Honoring and connecting to the Divine Feminine is an act of worship, not only to oneself, but also to the Divine Mother — the essence of all creation and the God of your own distinct understanding of the universe. It is a sacred connection to Mother Earth and to the very energy of giving birth … to ideas, expressions, dreams, life and existence.

The Divine Feminine is a part of us all. Here are seven simple practices to draw yourself closer to this inherent energy:

1. Connect your bare feet to Mother Earth. 

Connecting the soles of our feet to the earth is deeply grounding and steadying, especially for women. Tapping into the inherent Divine feminine channel within, this practice of joining bare feet with Mother Earth is so essential to our overall well-being.

You can also try laying face down on the earth with your arms wide and elbows bent at 90 degrees, with your fingertips to the ground. Known by many yogis as Gecko Pose, the whole body will feel a re-energizing charge, especially the womb and heart space, with the vibrational frequency of Mother Earth. A perfect mantra for this earth body worship is, "May we ever protect and care for Her, may we ever love Her, may we ever bathe in Her radiance. Jai MA."

2. Use pink Himalayan salt lamps. 

The soft, sultry pink glow of these healing lamps not only activate the Divine Feminine within, they also purify the air, create negative ions, help reduce harmful electromagnetic fields (EMFs) and truly support an uplifted mood.

3. Experiment with an oracle deck.

These amazing decks come with instructions as to how to use, cleanse, consecrate and empower them. They can help provide answers for deep questions, or you can just draw one card as inspiration and meditation for the day.

Learning to hear and harness messages from the angels, archangels and beyond, and how to make one's own body a conduit of Divine energy, is a palpable way to connect to the vibration of Divine Femininity.

4. Tap into the power of healing crystals.

Crystals are not just a component of modern day alternative medicine. They have been used for centuries for protection and healing.

Kunzite is a lovely pink crystal associated with the Heart Chakra and the element water, known for activation of the heart's knowing, emotional healing and vibration of Divine Love. Rose Quartz is famed for emotional healing and soothing, and is also a lovely pink.

Amazonite, on the other hand, is a gorgeous turquoise and its properties suit its fiercely exotic name. This incredible stone is known to merge the feminine and warrior energies, both of which exist within us all. It's a very empowering stone. Balancing female and male energies within the body is imperative, as we must know how to harness both.

5. Tune into the lunar cycle.

Pay attention to where Grandmother Moon is in her transit and also in your chart, so you can familiarize yourself with your own moon cycle each month. Knowing when the new moon occurs and how to respond (intention setting, quieting, going inward), when the full moon is coming (amplified energy, manifestation of intentions, highly vibrational) and also paying mind to the solstices, equinoxes, eclipses and astrological influences on the moon, can deepen your connection to the sacred Feminine.

5. Practice radical self-care.

This one is really self-explanatory. Treat your inner Priestess and Warrior like royalty! Take an epsom salt bath by candlelight, or lie down on your back for some legs up the wall after a long day. Journal your dreams and fears and intentions, sip tea and read a good book to unwind, take a mental health day and get out in nature to breathe more deeply. Anything that feels delicious and nourishing, do that.

6. Celebrate the beauty of all things.

See the opportunity for beauty everywhere. Create beauty wherever you go. Decorate yourself as you see fit.

Create a sacred sanctuary in your home, whether it's a corner or an entire room, and devote that space to beauty and the practice of presence. Give it texture, color and fragrance. Opt for hues of red, pink and purple to imbue femininity and sensuality. Turquoise and blue calls forth wisdom. White and gold draw the essence of Divine Light into your sphere.  Embrace and honor the ancient tradition of adornment as means of celebration, rather than ego. Let beauty feed your senses.

7. Construct altars wherever you are.

Whether it's your traditional altar, your bedside night table, your work desk, the front of your yoga mat or practice space, the dinner table, your backyard … the options are endless. Consecrate your immediate space by making it a sacred space.

Use crystals, trinkets, Buddhas, jewelry, mala beads, stones — whatever calls to your Spirit. Give your space a blessing. Ask your altar to serve a purpose for you, like blessing a bedside altar with the intention for peaceful, calming dreams. 

Invite the Divine Feminine into your realm at every turn, wherever you are. Let her healing vibration balance you, nourish you and sustain you. After all, you carry this energy within you everywhere you go.



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Listless..

One thing I try to do in life and with this blog, is not come off as (too) angry at men. I don't always succeed lol, but I try.  I attempt to be understanding and non-judgmental, but the mind-sets, self-beliefs and behaviors of some guys (individually and globally).. truly drive me crazy at times.

One of the biggest aggravators for me is men's attitudes about themselves and how it relates to women. Lots of men feel that because they have a penis and do something nice for a woman every once and a while, she should be undyingly grateful and supportive. What they fail to consider is, suppose that's not enough? Taking us out to dinner is great and thank you, but we need more than a meal. Much more. A woman who is happy with that arrangement is a woman who

A) Is settling
B) Needs to raise her self-esteem and self-worth.

A man who would realistically expect a woman to be happy with presenting this arrangement of nothingness is weak and truly uninformed. He also needs an adjustment of the self-esteem meter.

I was in a relationship where a man gave me bare minimum and expected complete loyalty and gratitude, as opposed to the reciprocated crumbs he offered.

He left me BEYOND drained. It was as if he woke up for the sole reason of stealing my energy and light. We lived together so up and leaving took some planning. He was overbearing, possessive and crazy. Everything was always my fault. It got to the point where I had no strength left to argue. I would nod my head while secretly checking apartment listings. We even went to couples therapy where he said virtually nothing. After we left, I asked why he was so silent. He said to me, "I don't know that guy. I don't want him in my business."

I knew right then we were completely through.

Fast forward a few years to today. I'm currently doing a fast and detoxing my body, mind and even my home. While cleaning through papers that have accumulated over the years, I found a poem I wrote in college about that very draining relationship. I was so bereft of energy, I didn't bother to capitalize any of the words. I suppose the professor didn't mind.

I got an A+.

My tales of woe was called,

Listless

if i were fabric, i'd be frayed. unraveled. worn and threadbare.  
split ragged like the very bottom of hair.

if i was a color, i'd be dull. limp. inching along with small breaths. tiny gasps. 
off-blacks and grays. to match the nervousness of my days.

if i was water i'd be a drip. a plop and a plip. not enough to cover a tongue or soak a stamp.
not enough to be defined as damp.

if i was a house i'd be run-down. crumbling bricks hitting the ground. once fiery orange now rusted. water spots. peeling paint. the vibrance of my true color is faint. walls that sway, barely not giving in. like weeping willow trees. backs become hunched by the force of the breeze.

if i was sleep i'd be a nap. a quick closed eye retina cap. a box too small for a gift. like the eye of a needle, too tiny for a dream to fit. like a blink, much too swift.

i am a cobweb. a covering not asked to be there. the result of age and dust, dirt and neglect. I am the redness, from the boot on the neck. i am the fog on the window. the soot. the ash. i am the crackle under the shoe, no moisture to stick to.

i sag.
i droop.
not the top tier, but the stoop.

i. am. worn. down.

-WTS.

"Nice" is for Wimps

If this man tells me to "be nice" ONE more time, I might absolutely do this..

The thing is, he's not a bad guy. He's just a GUY, and most men don't get it. They don't see how offensive they can be, until a woman points it out.

Why not advise me to

Be bold.
Be brave.
Be fearless.
Be inspired.
Be ambitious.
Be MYSELF.

Why nice? Why on earth would I want to be nice? If someone needs me to be nice that usually means their weak as shit.

This doesn't mean I should be disrespectful. I can be quite professional and succinct.

But nice?

I don't like where nice girls end up.

I've had men say, "Be good." I look at them like, who the fuck are you, ET?

"Be good" has a translation:

DON'T FUCK ANYONE ELSE WHILE WE'RE APART.

"Be good" also ranks high on the condescension chart.

I usually tell men to "Be safe."

Translation?

"Where a condom dummy."

Nothing condescending about that.

I'm not liking this post.

I feel my anger rising.

Time to go. I'm over men's bullshit right now..

10 Ridiculously Sexist and Dangerous Laws From Around the World

The War on Women continues globally. From legalized domestic abuse to bride kidnappings, laws made to oppress women are still firmly in place in many parts of the world. The best protection, (other than a firearm and a steady hand) is AWARENESS. Many of these absurd legal conjectures are hidden knowledge to most of the women they apply to. I doubt married women in India raped by their husbands, would fail to call it rape simply because of their age.

According to their government however, if they're married and over the age of 15, it's not rape. I'm not sure which is sadder in this instance. The fact that the law won't recognize rape or that this law only "protects" brides under 15.

Um...Why are they under 15 and married in the first place? 

In any case, we have to keep protecting ourselves and all women. With the archaic and dangerous belief that women are mens' properties, laws and practices like these will continue. We have to keep pushing, keep educating, and keep kicking oppressors in the balls..

But if they're over 15 years old, let's not call it assault. - WTS.

Once in a while in the U.S. we hear about a bill or a law that seems like it must be a joke. For example, in Florida it is illegal for a single woman to parachute or skydive on a Sunday. This week in Montana, a legislator explained that he seriously wants to make it illegal for women to wear yoga pants in public.

These examples might seem silly and inconsequential, but even so, at their core, they speak to very discriminatory ideas about gender, authority and rights that manifest themselves in much more dangerous ways all over the world, including in the United States. Last year in California, an appeals court overturned a rapist's conviction after a judge cited a standing 1872 law stating only married women could legally be raped. Last December, a legislator in Missouri proposed a bill reading, "No abortion shall be performed or induced unless and until the father of the unborn child provides written, notarized consent to the abortion." And, because I promised myself I'd repeat this every single chance I have until it's not true, it is still legal in more than 30 states in the United States for a rapist to sue his rape victim for child visitation and custody if his forcible insemination resulted in a pregnancy. 

WOW.

As ridiculous as these sound to some of us, they were not included in a top 10 list of misogynistic laws compiled in a report released today by women's rights advocacy group Equality Now. The report describes laws maintained by more than 50 governments. Many reflect the institutionalization of men's entitlement to rape or beat wives and to "own" children. Others limit women's movements and ability to work based on what husbands want.

Here are the top 10:

1. Saudi Arabia maintains its 1990 Fatwa prohibiting "women's driving of automobiles" as "a source of undeniable vices".

Last week, in a TV talk show, an historian defending this prohibition suggested that foreign female drivers be imported wholesale to avoid the shame that the rape ("not a big deal" for a woman) would bring to the family. Of course, Saudi Arabia is only one of a handful of countries, including The Vatican, where women cannot vote. Saudi women are also, effectively, electronically tagged... if they try to travel out of the country their guardians are automatically contacted.

2. A 2013 Indian act confirmed the legality of marital rape... "Sexual intercourse or sexual acts by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape."

India has the world's highest number of early marriages and while fewer girls younger than 15 are being married (18.2 percent), the rates for girls ages 15-18 has increased to 29.2 percent. Waiting a year eliminates "rape."

3. In the U.S., a child born outside of marriage can only be granted citizenship in certain cases relating to the father.

For example, when "a blood relationship between the person and the father is established by clear and convincing evidence" or "the father (unless dead) agreed, in writing, to provide financially for the person until they reach age of eighteen. Somehow, I doubt that millennials, for whom out-of-wedlock births are the norm, know that this might be the case where they live.

4. Likewise, Yemen's 1992 act says that a wife "must permit [her husband] to have legitimate intercourse with her when she is fit to do so."

No age limit. Fourteen percent of girls in Yemen are married to adult men before they are 15. (R. Kelly should move to Yemen, huh?) Periodically, the news cycle is interrupted by a sad and enraging story about girls and women assaulted, sometimes to death, by their husbands. While efforts are underway to change the legal age of marriage to 18, marital rape is a separate issue. In either case, Yemen is in the process of falling apart as I type.

5. In Malta, a kidnapper "after abducting a person, shall marry such person, he shall not be liable to prosecution."

This may seem like a strange law to some, however bride kidnappings are a real problem in many countries and common in certain cultures. (A post on this to come soon).

6. In Nigeria, violence "by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife" is just fine.

It is difficult for some, however, to live in a country where this is true and then move to another where it is not. Sahara Reporters' Abidodun Ladepo wrote about multiple cases of Nigerian men beating and killing their wives in the U.S. These women are among the three who die each day here at the hands of their spouses.

7. Women in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where during the war an estimated 48 women were raped per hour and where rape, including rape tied to intimate partner violence, continues at horrific rates, "is obliged to live with her husband and follow him wherever he sees fit to reside."

Marital rape is not a punishable offense.

8. In Guinea women are not allowed to have "a separate profession from that of her husband" if he objects.

9. Kenya's 2014 Marriage Act legitimizes polygamy.

"A marriage celebrated under customary law or Islamic law is presumed to be polygamous or potentially polygamous." This law is one thread in a very thick and complicated cloth. Women's rights groups in the country seemed torn. Some applauded the law because polygamy is so widely practice and the law extended vital protections to all wives that were previously denied.

10. A Bahamian act dating from 1991, two years before the last U.S. state outlawed marital rape, defines rape as anyone older than 14 "having sexual intercourse with another person who is not his spouse."

In addition, married Bahamian women cannot pass their nationality to children, with foreign fathers, born outside of the country. This is not true for children born to Bahamian men. It's also easier for men to get citizenship for spouses.

Rape laws, laws governing movement or work or children's nationality are reflections of deeply held and rooted ideas about women being men's property. The common law history of rape laws in particular show that rape was, and in many cases still is, not about a woman's human rights being violated, but about a man -- her father, brother, husband -- having his property stolen. They were never meant to actually protect the raped, but rather defend these property rights. Rape, domestic violence, control of movement -- these are, by many men and the countries they govern, understood as entitlements. Men surveyed in the largest global study of gender-based violence cited "entitlement" as the "primary reason" that they sexually assaulted women.

Women living in countries where they face multiple forms of legal discrimination are rendered exceptionally vulnerable to both spousal and state abuse. If they marry foreigners, or bear their children abroad, they constantly fear deportation of their families if they "get out of line." Because they are women, their families are economically disadvantaged in terms of property ownership and access to financial tools. When women cannot pass nationality on to children or their spouses it also frequently means their families have no access to public services. Their children have no automatic and equal right to be educated in public schools, and their families might not have access to national heath care. If they are in abusive relationships they are much more likely to fear the loss of their children, who can be used to extort and control them. The inability to pass nationality on to male spouses and to children puts women at risk. Combined with other discriminatory laws, it hurts them and their families every day.

Equality Now has, for several years, led a global campaign to end sexism in laws governing nationality. In the wake of the newly released report, they are pursing country-by-country #unsexylaws campaigns, which include opportunities for interested people and organizations to support grass-roots activists.

Source

The Benefits of Vaginal Weightlifting

Aside from doing kegels (when I remember) I haven't really exercised my vagina. Wait, do dicks count? Not by the sound of this article they don't. Vaginal King Fu is something I never heard of, and probably won't be trying, but Yoni balls sound good. I'm all for vaginal health, better orgasms and increasing my sexual energy too. Hrmm.. maybe I shouldn't increase my sexual energy. My vagina gets so hungry I sometimes wonder of she has teeth. Anyhoo, I'm in favor of all things healthy vagina, and vagina weight lifting is on the list. At the bottom of the page are some links to where you can buy different vagina weights. Go for it ladies. Work your cooch!

A strong pelvic floor and vagina can bring a myriad of benefits to your life. Including:

Have more orgasms. 

Have better orgasms. By better I mean, mind-, body- and spirit-altering orgasms that are longer, deeper, more intense, and include the ability to ejaculate. 

Keep your internal organs (I.e. no pelvic organ prolapse). 

Have an easier childbirth and recover more quickly afterward.

Up your libido. When the vagina is weak, it feels numb. Sex is infinitely more pleasurable with a sensitive and articulate vagina. 

Eliminate issues of urinary incontinence. 

Increase circulation in the vaginal canal and produce lubrication more easily (this is the main reason women do not lubricate profusely). 

Integrate your sexual energy into everything you do. When women are dissociated from their vaginas, they are also cut off from the natural and enlivening flow of their sexual energy. When the vagina is brought back to life, that vital, life-force energy is available to you to channel into all parts of your life.

A natural facelift. When you strengthen and pull up the pelvic floor muscles, you create an energetic lift throughout the entire body, which even registers in the face. I have had clients stop using Botox after beginning their lifting practice. 

Be able to shoot ping pong balls. This is every woman's God-given right.

These things are possible for every woman: ping pong tricks, multiple orgasms, ejaculate that shoots across the room, and insane, life-changing pleasure.

All you need is a strong vagina. She has one for sure..

Source of the Madness

Where to Buy:

Amazon

Jade Eggs from Amazon

A shit ton more