Hoes. Blow. And Mexico. How to Save a Man's Life.

In the Life Instruction Book, there is but one word:

LIVE.

It's all you can to keep from dying. In this man's case, having a life literally saved him from taking one. Don't let it be you. If you've been saving yourself from fun, well then..

Go live already!



Happy Friday.


Two thousand dollars spent on a trip to Mexico, a cab ride, a seedy hotel room, excessive amounts of cocaine, and hooker orgies legitimately saved a man’s life. This might be the first time anyone’s ever said that. Don’t know.

Amidst a battle of debilitating depression, he traveled to Mexico to purchase “chemicals” to humanely end his life. The aptly-named Reddit user, plzsendhalp, shares his story involving ripping lines of coke off hookers’ tits, battling whiskey/coke dick with Viagra, multiple threesomes, and of course his will to finally live.

From reddit:

Went to Mexico to buy barbiturates for a humane and peaceful death.

Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.

Spent a full week snorting coke off tits, popping pain meds, drinking tequila, eating handfuls of Viagra to fight the whiskey/coke dick, and had three FFM threesomes.

Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fueled orgy I decide life wasn’t so bad after all.

He then packed his shit up and headed back home, STD-free.

Personally speaking, after a week filled with cocaine and sex with Mexican prostitutes, I’d descend into a deep, dark state of depression from the effects of my moral hangover. I’m glad it worked for this guy, though.

He goes on to explain in the comments that his depression was caused by an abusive childhood, then offers words of encouragement for anyone dealing with similar depression issues. He doesn’t suggest they go the Mexico hookers and cocaine route, but he encourages nonetheless. He also fields an onslaught of private messages from people seeking his advice–a true good samaritan.

Well alrighty then.

The source of this madness

Super Sexist Pic

This has to be one of the most sexist pictures I've ever seen on the internet.


The ultimate in assholism. #yuck #intimidatedmen #ridic

Happy Crazy Tweet Monday!!

(I don't think she cared Keith.)

So I'm guessing she didn't get her wish.. 

Roshna the Riveter

The writing's on the wall.

Literally.

Equal rights for women worldwide.

#thatisall

Pardon Me, But I Do Not Have That Look..

Nope, you're wrong Scarface.

It only FEELS like a year.


And don't talk to me like that.


#notenoughsex #nopushymen

Rest in Peaceful Sleep Jan Hooks

Jan Hooks, who worked alongside some of the biggest "Saturday Night Live" stars ... died Thursday ... TMZ has learned. She was 57.

We've learned she passed away this morning in New York City. Sources tell us Jan had been battling a serious illness.

Jan was part of the 'SNL' cast from 1986-91 ... the same time as Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey and Dennis Miller ... and was most famous for being half of the Sweeney Sisters ... and also for her impressions of Sinead O'Connor and Hillary Clinton.

She most recently played a part on "30 Rock."

Right after 'SNL', Jan joined the cast of "Designing Women." She also had a famous role in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure."

Jan had dated fellow SNL star Kevin Nealon ... before they were both on the show. Nealon tells TMZ he and Jan had "amazing times as friends, then dating and then the incredible rush of being on SNL together."

He added, "I only wish she knew how well respected and admired she was. This is such a loss."

Jan was nominated for an Emmy in 1998 for a role on "3rd Rock from the Sun."

Notable moments from Jan..

I Didn't Evolve From You..

Sinead O'Connor

Jan was amazingly funny and will be missed.

-WTS.

Goodbye Jan

West Forgets North..

Kim K. is really one of a kind. It takes a truly special woman to forget her baby..

Post by Naomie Prettygirlzrock Dupree.

TBT: Women Take the Wrap. LITERALLY.

Has it been two years already? Where does the time go? This commercial makes me laugh till I cry every time.

EVEREE TIIME!!

"What's in the new chicken wraps!?"

My tears apparently.

The statement issued by Mary immediately after this commercial (offended people) and failed miserably..

“I agreed to be a part of a fun and creative campaign that was supposed to feature a dream sequence,” Mary J. Blige told TMZ.com. “Unfortunately, that’s not what was happening in that clip.”

Blige found herself in hot grease when Burger King released a commercial that showed the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul singing the praises of crispy chicken wraps. The video was removed after critics called out Mary J’s performance for what was classified as stereotypical depictions of African-Americans.

“I understand my fans being upset by what they saw,” she said in the statement. “But, if you’re a Mary fan, you have to know I would never allow an unfinished spot like the one you saw go out.”

In the commercial, a Burger King manager asks Blige to explain to patrons what’s in the new chicken wraps. The place turns into a club atmosphere,and Blige can be seen in the ad standing atop Burger King tables, singing the praises of the new crispy chicken snack wraps. A group of kids start dancing as do the customers.

“Crispy chicken, fresh lettuce, three cheeses, ranch dressing wrapped up in a tasty, flour tortilla,” the nine-time Grammy winner croons.

As CBS Local previously reported, the ad was part of a new celebrity-driven Burger King campaign designed to revive the fast food brand, that has fallen to second behind Wendy’s, a recent report said. Mary J. Blige was not the only celebrity on hand to shill for BK. Jay Leno, David Beckham, Salma Hayek, Sofia Vergara and Steven Tyler also dropped commercials.

While Tyler also “gets things rocking for Crispy Chicken Strips,” according to the press release announcing the campaign, much of the criticism surrounding Mary’s performance has to do with stereotypes concerning black people and fried chicken.

In usual pile-on fashion, the Twitterverse reacted with scorn. The most notable critique came from Steve Stoute, founder of Translation, an advertising company that built a reputation for marrying hip-hop culture and Wall Street in an authentic way.

Miss Mary Mack. We all make mistakes. Let's just hope that when we do, they'll come out as funny as this.

Source